Monday, December 11, 2017

One Ring To Rule Them ALL

I lived in Los Angeles back in 2004 and 2005. The disillusionment I suffered upon arrival in that God forsaken town forever changed me. For those of you reading this that have not been there or lived there, and only see the images created by the media machine, I'm here to tell you that it is nothing short of being the most spun web of lies ever told.

In the recent news, daily it seems, we see the #MeToo claims and lists of various celebrities and directors/producers that are being called out on their past acts of deplorable behavior.

Of course there are those who want to say that it is nothing more than a witch hunt, that there's nothing driving it other than the liberal media, but that isn't true. 

In fact, the mainstream media is not reporting it as much as it is actually occurring, which is why there seems to be so many claims surfacing like a bursting boil of whistleblowers, leakers, and movements surrounding the hashtag MeToo.

Our first big whallop of intel was on the producer/director, Harvey Weinstein. This seemed to come out around the time of the Las Vegas shooting incident. These things seem unrelated, but they are anything but. Before you log out of this blog, here me out. I'm NOT saying that Harvey Weinstein had anything to do with Vegas. He didn't. However, as we know now, Mr. Weinstein was only the first among hundreds of  intel leaks on various celebrities.  It seems to be a much bigger secret that is being revealed, possibly one that has cords that stretch and weave in and out of all the most powerful positions within the United States. 

The Vegas shooting smells like a rotten case of "solved too easily, all questions answered." In fact, very few questions were answered, and it seemed to disappear from the press shortly after it happened. Odd, isn't it? I mean, it's 2017, almost 2018 and we STILL speak of the OKC bombing, Waco, Colorado movie theatre shooting, 911, etc...  What was the difference between these massive attacks and the Vegas shooting?  We the people and our Cell phones, filming, tweeting, snapchatting, Facebooking, YouTubing, Instagramming,  texting, etc...
This is why the fear driven narrative, or cut n' dry "who done it and why,"  disappeared from the media.

Within 24 hours of the Vegas shooting, hundreds of videos were being tweeted and posted on social media accounts that either captured audio or video of multiple shooters, locked gates that were previously unlocked,  and more. Sadly, anyone who has come forward has mysteriously "disappeared or died in an accident."  Look it up. Last I checked, the death or disappearance tally was up to 6 persons.

Of course, the interview on Ellen Degeneres's show featuring  Jesus Campos (the supposed security guard who was on the scene) was clearly a rehearsed statement that left more questions than it did answers. (for me anyway)

 And why did this man go on a mid-day show like Ellen, instead of being questioned by supposed "legitimate" journalists? Ellen is a stand-up comedian. I'm just saying.

When you have an 'asset' that isn't fully trained in the alphabet soup agencies narrative,  "here's how you lie without looking like you are lying" program, you "test him out" on a mid-day show geared towards housewives and low income earners who work late nights, work from home, or are retired middle income Apple Pie Americans.  In other words, the most forgiving audience. The audience with the most blind spots in their logic. 

**I'm not saying Ellen's show isn't an entertaining one, but it's NOT serious investigative journalism. And a "eye witness" like Jesus Campos should be coming out on something with a bit more weight than Ellen.**

The "No Such Agency" and "Clowns In America" agencies throughout history -have assets.
Definition of a military asset: equipment such as communication devices, ships, planes, radar, or any employed military operative utilized in a military operation. 

These are skilled operatives that can blend into normal everyday life as easily as a homeless bum blends in under a bridge in Downtown Dallas. They are "normal" looking, have seemingly normal admin jobs, are routinely seen in public places like casinos, concerts, bars, events, and they have a crutch of some sort typically. Whether this crutch is part of their cover or a part of their coping, it exists and if the asset is compromised, the "crutch" or "flaw" is usually the culprit to the media cover story. Within the strata of 'assets' you have ranking. Some assets are valuable, some are disposable. Some are somewhere in the middle.

"Paddock collected and bought illegal weapons and had a deep gambling debt."  The masses who are asleep and believe anything they see on the news, think to themselves, "oh, yeah, well that's why then... yep, he was clearly unstable... no wonder. Well, thank God they got 'em."  Also, remember that around 30 minutes after the Vegas shooting, the wrong narrative leaked out to the media and then never resurfaced. Remember that? It was the ISIS narrative. It was so obviously the vetoed intel, it was immediately scrubbed and never mentioned again. However, if you were a late night insomniac like me, you remember the various intelligence "discoveries" they "tried out" before they just went for the lamest one and stuck with it... kind of. The reporters don't know, they are only reporting what is being given to them from various sources  from the top down.

What is the 'top down'... Do the research on Operation Mockingbird.
This is a FOA document that is easily downloaded in PDF.  In a nutshell, for those of you who don't have the time to nerd out on some declassified documents garnered from the Freedom of Information Act:
Operation Mockingbird was an alleged large-scale program of the United States Central Intelligence Agency that began in the early 1950s and attempted to manipulate news media for propaganda purposes.  (not alleged. You can download the actual copies from the FOA department. OR... if you can't be bothered, I'll enclose a link to the download at the bottom of the blog) 

Someone who is 65 years old managed to smuggle up dozens of automatic weapons into a very popular hotel during a music festival weekend, wire his girlfriend 100k, and have the energy to load and reload very advanced automatic weapons within minutes, break the glass (it's triple reinforced glass, if not stronger) and wipe out hundreds of people in a short amount of time, kill himself, and then make sure a note is left within plain view for the authorities to effortlessly find upon entering his hotel room.  That is only a fraction of the holes in the story, and I'm not even counting the hundreds of cell phone videos or audio, dashcams in cabs, that paint a very different picture.

Within hours, the mainstream was spouting his name, interviewing his brother, and trying to paint a huge backstory of this guy being raised by a Top 10 Most Wanted father. The brother poo-poo'd that theory stating that they never had contact with their father, were primarily raised by their mother. The brother of Paddock was not going to pipe down from his "this is really weird, I don't know how this happened, I just saw him, I can't understand this, this smells fishy..."   Two weeks later, Paddock's brother is arrested for child pornography.  What a great way to make someone disappear and completely discredit him at the same time. 

Of course, he very well may have had child porn but the whole thing seems pretty perfect since he was about to go on all the media outlets to demand an independent investigation of the "evidence" against Paddock. If you saw the interview with Paddock's brother, you can see how his personality was. He was not a meek and mild guy. He was outraged and very vocal about how he couldn't believe his brother was to blame for all that carnage. He was kind of an out-of-the-box guy in the sense of how verbal he was and uncensored immediately upon the media's multiple reporters showing up at his house. *

**Side note: Stephen Paddock worked at connected company in conjunction to Lockheed Martin back in the 80's doing administrative accounting work... sound familiar to the 'asset' requirements? He owned apartment complexes(a classic cover), and had many lavish frivolities including a private plane that he paid to have parked at Love Field Airport in Dallas, Texas. Routinely spent 10 to 20 thousand dollars a day at casinos, had multiple properties, etc.. Just a normal guy, right? Wrong. He was an asset. A disposable asset. Somewhere in the legalese of his contractual obligations was the risk of being compromised publically if something went wrong. Most of these 'assets' get their millions of dollars being private contractors in groups like Black Water or other mercenary, private security type outfits. Yet, it's all connected, and the paper trail never makes it back to the good ol' Clowns In America agency or whomever funded the entire operation.**

During the same time of the Vegas shooting, we have the accounts coming forward regarding the sexual abuse involving Harvey Weinstein.  This was the catalyst for many, many, many others who have spend countless amounts of money, in some cases Slush Fund money, to cover their sexual misdeeds. 

The lists of senators, congressmen, corporate execs, celebrities, media personalities, is growing daily. Of course, if you are one of the people who are only watching CNN or some other huge media company's slant on the news, you haven't seen the full fallout.  Why are they keeping this information on such a short leash?  Why is the senate trying to block other news sources like RT or Drudge Report? Why is Google moving the search results of these news sources further down on the search results? Are they saying too much? Are they not going along with the power player's clearly fake slant on various supposed intel?  It's all so obvious. For those of you wanting to blame POTUS for this, don't. This is far deeper than the office of the President of the United States. I am not a cheerleader for Donald Trump either.  However, he is becoming a big thorn in the side of the corruption that has been going on in this world for at least a hundred years. Whether or not he realizes he is a thorn in their side is irrelevant. He isn't what they had planned on, and the leaks are coming out in an embarrassing stream of shame regarding the fabricated narrative of Russia having anything to do with rigging our elections. The power elite can't control someone like Donald Trump because he's irrational and a fuse that gets set off by everything.  This doesn't make him a good president, it just makes him the right one for what needs to be uncovered right now which is nothing short of pure evil. 

In the last couple of months, these sexual scandals and Vault 7 leaks have exposed everything from pedophile sex trafficking rings to private airplanes supported by the Clinton Foundation that go to an island full of sex trafficked underage women, funding by Podesta's disgusting brother Tony's child torture art collection (featured in various Art circles as being "deep"), and the corruption within everything from the Red Cross, Senate, Congress, ABC, NBC, NPR, FOX, CBS and even Disney.

These elite power players are part of a network of globalist who participate in nefarious activities in a type of "boys club" that pats the back of each other and rarely gets called out for anything because everyone has dirt on everyone else in that nasty ring of powerful puppet masters. Blackmail is the name of the game, and everyone has something on everyone else when you get to the higher rungs of the ladder.

It's the oldest intelligence chess move on the planet. Nobody blows the whistle in that circle because the whistle will be blown on them. That's how it works. It must be uprooted and the "weeds must be plucked from the wheat." That's happening. That's why you are inundated with scandalous shameful information 24/7. The world of the evil elites are being exposed for the crimes against humanity and it's been a calculated take-down from the ground level. You get one to squeal, you get ten, and so on and so forth. THAT, mixed with the data dumps from Assange and other insiders, you have a very clear flow chart of why all of this is happening now. It has to, and it's been a long time coming. 

What if these sick individuals and scandals and dirty secrets were all somehow connected? Why is it that the most visible and outspoken people would risk having such dirty laundry in their lives? Why or how would they feel comfortable doing their terrible abusive sexual power plays when it could be so easily busted?  Because it wasn't easily busted. This elite power structure of Hollywood and Washington, is deeply rooted in something far more sinister. When you reach a certain level of power and money or influence, there are snakes that come out of the bushes to bait you with more power, more money, more influence.  The psychological parts to anyone who wants to "make it" in Hollywood is an unquenchable hunger to be recognized for your talent.

I know this first hand. I once pined for that same recognition. I wanted to be great, to be recognized on the street, to be adored by thousands of people across the world. I was broken and had huge amounts of talent that made me so happy to perform for people, to share with people. At the core of myself was the lonely misunderstood fractured little girl who just wanted to be loved by people, and validated for being who I knew myself to be.  This cannot be gained from the outside-in.  This hungry hungry hippo game of life within Hollywood and the political world begins and ends with EGO.  You have to have a healthy and eventually very UNhealthy ego to think that you and you alone are worthy of massive amounts of people basically worshipping what you do. What are you offering that is THAT valuable?  Is it your 'art' or is it your Ego? When the ideals driving you are higher in conscious direction, you will gain that respect from the world but without the trappings of shame, guilt, and regret for the abuse you put yourself through in order to "get fame."

Women have it rough in Hollywood. Our corrupt and moral-less society has placed value on only the material existence.  Of course, in order to not be "found out" for the devils they are, the powers occasionally throw a bone to an overweight singer, or a less-than beautiful/handsome actor, someone handicapped, etc...  That is only because the public needs to believe that Hollywood is based on talent and not on a select few's disgusting power hungry needs and agendas. 

I should mention that I wasn't one of those that wasn't "working" as an actor in Hollywood. I had stumbled backwards into several pots of gold there but the way I felt at the end of the day was nothing short of suicidal.  **Read my blog entitled, "The Dream That Changed Everything," to understand my mental state at that time.**

Early on in my life as a performer, I would meet these very charismatic men who seemed to take an interest in my talent. They were always funny, charming, slightly out of shape, and successful or respected in the world of acting/film making. I always rationalized that I must've been "lucky" to have met these people. I would think things like, "what are the chances of meeting this person and having them actually take an interest in me?"  Of course I was charming, funny, and had a quick silver tongue, attractive, and had a openness of my personality that seemed to make people want to be around me. I felt like God himself had put me in the path of 'this person' to show me that my dreams of being successful and famous as an actor were not in vain.  Yes, I'm telling you that most struggling artists find situations like this miraculous.  After all, I was 'just' Melodee Lenz from Texas who could barely read until 4th grade, was a fat kid most of her life, and bullied beyond belief. How did the lowly Melodee Lenz garner the attention of 'said' person?  It must be divine intervention, right? 

Maybe some of it was, but only in the sense of lesson learning. 

It's no divine secret or hidden mystery how I managed to find these successful and powerful people who wanted to "help me grow" as an artist.  How does a lion find the lamb? How does the fox charm the rabbit? How does the cobra hypnotize the mouse?  The predator knows your weaknesses, knows how you will react, and has been watching you for the "long game" kill shot.

A true psychopath is so intelligent that they know more about you than you know about you. They can spot someone with a pin sized hole of doubt and they can rip that hole open with their talons faster than you could realize you had a hole to begin with!

Were they always psychopaths? Some were. Some weren't. They are easy to spot once you've been taken by them. Just like every predatory person, they don't show you their teeth right away. That's too easy and they wouldn't be where they are if they did that. Remember, the rodent has a much higher intelligence than the snake. If the rodent knew the snake was watching them for a day and a half, they wouldn't come back to the same area to find food. The snake calmly sits there and seems uninterested for a long, long, long time. Then it allows the mouse to climb on it, grab the food that is sticking up out of it's cold coiled body, and eat a full dinner... then it strikes.

The mouse isn't stupid. The mouse was an optimist and felt like the world was finally making it easy for him. Maybe he now has a big powerful friend (the snake) who can guard against the Hawks or Owls or traps set by lesser predators in the woods. The mouse thinks he's really scored a perfect situation. He's seen his mouse friends get scooped up by birds, or get smashed in traps set by humans... but he's never seen any evidence of a snake killing off his friends.... so screw it, new snake friend!   The mouse doesn't realize that the snake leaves no evidence of his kills. He won't need to feed for several days after he eats a plump and satisfied/well fed mouse. He can retreat back into the shadows again. He has time to wait it out.

If you think that is an elaborate way of talking about powerful elite predators, it's not. It is a perfect description. Once you understand this fatal flaw in the 'prey' then you can see how easy it is to be gobbled up by such an obvious predator.

Power is worth more than money and is sought after more than financial gain. Sure, they go hand in hand, but when someone seeks power first, that is someone who is willing to do almost anything to keep their ego fed. A lot of us want money. Sure we do. We want money so that we can have what? Freedom. We just don't want to have to work so hard forever. We'd like to enjoy this place called Earth, see the sights, eat the food, enjoy the time we have with friends and those we love and hold dear. 

We live in a financial and economic system that is exactly patterned after the Babylonian Money Magik system. It kept a select few at the top, and everyone else it kept in a slave system only they thought they were free and taken care of. They were property of Babylon and never knew it. The harder they worked and put back into the economy, the more powerful the ones at the tippy top became. Gradually the people began connecting more, communication grew within Babylon, and the people had a universal language. When communication begins to extend past the tribe, then you have the birth of ideas, inspiration, and knowledge integration from cultures other than your own.

Perhaps the "tower of Babel" was nothing more than the destruction of this communication and the "god" that did it wasn't God, but instead was the elite who thought they were gods. The people were "scattered far and wide, and were not able to speak to each other."  The Babylonian corruption may have bought some time with that little "scattering" but eventually those same people became powerful and came back to sack the city. That's what happens. Once the truth has been shared among the people, the snake pit gets nervous every time they see a fire.

Pretty soon, everyone will have a torch and there will be nowhere to hide for these venomous snakes that have done unthinkable things in the name of power.

Among the torch bearers who are calling out the corruption, you will also have the 'assets' in place that will be MeToo'ing it up in the same public way. The asset will be found out because their information will go after someone and eventually will be debunked as false. So what do we do? We let all of this play out. Use discernment. And realize that anytime something seemingly comes out of nowhere, gets the attention of the mainstream media, and you start seeing laws being changed or activist groups in academia moving mountains to facilitate the new movement.... you have an agenda at play. 

What is the agenda? That is the rabbit hole of questioning you can have fun with. What is gained? Who loses? What sort of distraction does it cause? What age group is it targeting? How are they reacting? What is this distracting from? What legitimately beneficial movement was completely overridden by the upstart of this seemingly progressive movement? Who is standing behind it? What do they gain from it? Who profits financially? Who are they connected with? What are they trying to prevent the masses from knowing about?

These are the types of questions to ask if you want to wake up and take some ownership in your beliefs, your country, and be a responsible intelligent contributor to human life.

As far as the Hollywood corruption goes... It's not shocking. It's shocking that it has taken this long for people to realize that the game being played at the top of all huge companies, politics, and media has been preying on the innocent for eons. How does a mouse fight a dragon? A mouse doesn't. But MICE do. There are more of us then there are of them. Remember that. 

#MeToo #TheRevolutionWillBeTelevised #RedPill #Woke #SexualScandal #Pedogate #Epstein #Vault7 #WikiVault7 #OperationMockingbird #QAnon #Cabal #DarkSide
For PDF download of FOA declassified docs on Operation Mockingbird

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Dumbest Things I've Seen or Heard, LIST ONE

In my life, which has been far from average or predictable, I've managed to collect a few moments that break the brain's logic center.

I've always rationalized that these moments exist so that we can remember that things are not normal on this planet. In other words, it's the Creator's way of keeping us on our toes- so to speak.

I'll begin with a classic. 

I worked for many years at a very successful children's theatre that specialized in classic fairy tales told through the art of European style puppetry. It was a pinky's up type place set in the lavish hall of capitalism, North Park Center in Dallas, Texas.  At least once a month, if not more, there would be some aristocratic patron with her tribe of pasty white Polo shirt wearing kids that would storm the gates of the theatre first thing on a Saturday morning asking the following question:

"What time does the 10:30 show start?" 
To which, we would respond, "10:30."  (this happened all the time) 

As the years went by, the sarcasm increased and we would respond without giving these people any sort of benefit of the doubt.  At one point, when I was the owner (briefly) of this theatre, I responded to this question of "what time does the 10:30 show start" with, "clearly you know the answer to that already."  This was toward the end of my joy for this place...

Next up on the list of stupid stuff I've heard or seen involves the same place as the above example.

During the holiday season in the cathedral of Capitalism (North Park Center), we (the theatre) would always put on a production of a holiday favorite. The last year I worked at this place/co-owned it, I had employed my brother to help with set building and running the retail area/crunching numbers, etc.. 
The holiday season at North Park Center in Dallas, Texas, is the worst of humanity all crammed into a marble floored palace of overpriced bullsh** and horrible Modern Art from the Nasher Collection. (Modern art sucks. I don't care what you think, it sucks)

Anyway... just paintin' a picture of the horrible types of people that frequent that place as though it's an extension of their kid's pre-school.  Spoiled is an understatement.   Everyone at Northpark reminds me of the people in Kubrick's, "Eyes Wide Shut." Totally Bohemian Grove secret society types... miserable wives who compete with other miserable wives for the attention of their uninterested evil rich a-hole husbands who are slipping ME their phone number at their 3 year old's birthday party. Ewwww. NO THANKS.

We were putting on the production of "The Little Drummer Boy," when a woman who was covered in diamonds and holding the ears of her 6 year old male child came in and very quietly whispered with her eye brows suspiciously arched in  inquiry....

"Excuse me. Ma'am, yes, Excuse ME! Assistance please!... I have a question before I buy tickets for this. We are waiting in line for Santa and have a couple of hours to kill so this would be great but I'm concerned and I want an honest answer from you or your staff..." 

Me: Okay. Shoot. 

"Is the (reading the Marquee as though she's never read anything in her life) Little Druh-m Drummer Boy, yes, is that scary?" 

Me: Huh? Are you serious?

"Don't get smart with me blondy. (a classic insult I used to get by these types) I asked you a simple question and I expect a simple answer. Is it scary?" 

My Brother: that depends on whether you think the birth of Christ is a terrifying moment in history... your call ma'am.

"okay fine. 2 tickets please. If this scares my son, I will be talking to your manager!"  

End of that story? They saw the show. They walked out as though that whole conversation above never happened. These kinds of things kept me up at night. I would just imagine these people driving on a major highway and I started sweating.

Working at the Miami Dade County Fair at a Virtual Reality theater alongside a team of the most smartass people on the planet (including my brother), we had 5 weeks of the worst possible conditions. Tropical storm during the set up of the outdoor theatre, a rented apartment that was in Ft. Lauderdale (google map that... we drove that daily)...and of course, the idiot New Jersey-shore types that infiltrated Miami during the summer months. THE WORST. I have to say this off the record... The Jersey-shore-ish type youth are the dumbest people on the planet AND they are aggressive (usually a stupid person trait)... they react like a bunch of feral cats when you challenge their brains with 'new information.'  Hissing, swiping their long fingernails at you, fur standing up...oh I mean... hair... Anyway... you get the point.

Week 4 of the WORST GIG EVER...  
It was my brother, myself, and this dude from Philly named Jeremy. Jeremy was one of those young guys that had been in trouble for spray painting "Anarchist" type stuff on federal buildings. (he was hilarious) He looked like a member of the Beastie Boys....

Well.. We had "about had it" with Miami.  The virtual reality theater set up was an outdoor stage that looked like a bunch of leather arm chairs bolted to some graduated steps. You put on a headset and watched basically a cartoon and used your body to "score points" by "beating up the bad guy." (remember that this was Pre-Wii... so it was cool-ish back then)

So (this is relevant)... it's a bunch of chairs bolted down onto bleacher seating. It goes nowhere. It does nothing. From the audience perspective, all one would see is a group of people yelling, while seated, and shooting at stuff and saying things like "bang bang. Hello Shifty! Go!" (then screaming and stomping their feet to "score points") 
 So.... again.... imagine sitting on your couch wearing heavy goggles and just acting crazy and hoping you win a prize.
Got it? I can't stress that enough and you'll know why in a minute.

A group of wild terrible New Jersey vacationers with their stupid haircuts and gold chains came schlepping up to the booth like they were extras in Good Fellas... "Yo. Say Yo... 'ey... (whistle)... Yo so whaddit do?"  My brother explains it, thoroughly. (if you know my brother, you know what I mean by THOROUGHLY)  These stupid Jersey guys just stare at him. I step in and say, "Look, it's a game. Like a virtual reality game. You go on a quest and the more you move, the more points you score. It's 5 bucks, it lasts 10 minutes. That's the deal." 

The oldest one of the group who was probably about 25 years old, was just staring at the theatre watching people play the game. So... I walked off. That's when they got Philly Anarchy guy, Jeremy. Jeremy walks up to them, "Yo are yous guys gonna sign up or wat!? Come on man you holdin' up the line man, sign up or step off bro." 

That's when the whole crew of these idiots walked back up to pay their money to play the game/see the show... But they had ONE question before they gave us their money. And remember folks... they have stood there for over 3 cycles of people playing the game. They know what it "looks like" and what it "doesn't do." 

This is the question that we all heard, but was asked to Philly Jeremy...

"Say... so um like is it a roller coaster?" 

**even though we were in the middle of a fair ground full of loud AF Jersey vacationers, time seemed to stop and go in slow motion.... the stupidest thing ever had been said and it stopped time itself.***

Jeremy couldn't respond because the time space continuum had been altered by the stupidest thing ever so.... he just rocked back and forth and made a gurgling sound with his mouth and rolled his eyes back in his head until the Jersey guy was so weirded out that he walked off quietly.... 

My brother and I still laugh about that. It was the most epic response without being epic or really a response of any sort... which made it epic.


Next on the list of "classics" would have to be the story of the worst time of my life... 
It was after I came home injured from my tour with the circus. (true story for those of you who don't know... yes, I joined the circus at 33 years old)... I came back to ruin. No money. No nothing. I had been screwed over by everyone I knew and the karmic wheel of my past ran over me about 47 times upon arrival home. 

Several months after coming home to "hell on earth 2011," my boyfriend and I had to figure out how to make some money. He too had been run over by the wheel of fate and I couldn't help but think some of my karmic wheels had gone rogue into his world too.  I had an idea that just might work. We could sell puppets at various festivals and weekender type markets. I had made a killing back in the day selling these marionettes that looked like birds at fairs, etc...

So why not?! I spent my last dime ordering these birds in bulk. Most of the strings were broken, and I still figured it would be easier to sit up all night repairing them then it would be to send them back. brother, Logan and myself all stayed up repairing these P.O.S. bird puppets in hopes of selling them over the weekend at a craft market festival thing in east Texas.  If we sold even half of them, we could all make 500 bucks a piece. Not bad.

That didn't happen.

We set up shop. Had our tent set, display was great... had cash to give change... impressive display for the poorest and most broken down people in DFW at the time.  Across from our set up was a truck full of WOLF PUPPIES. WOLF. ACTUAL WOLF PUPS. Is that not the most white trash shit you've ever heard in your life?  Granted... I wanted one.

During this uninteresting white trash showcase of 2011, there was some snaggle toothed thin methy looking dude that was 'breaking bad' on his old school BMX bicycle. He was totally scoring or selling meth to various vendors. For sure. Actually... maybe that's me giving him too much credit. I think he might have been just a meth addict burning off the tweeks on that bike. 

With every passing minute of selling nothing and watching people irresponsibly purchase wolf puppies, we broke down our invisible light barrier... Our "bubble of invisible protection" against the dredges of society was ripping open slowly like a tear in the crack of your favorite pants.

METHod  Man- Alternative Universe Slim Shady kept rolling by and it all clicked with us that he had been yelling at us since 7:00am the previous day. We had just not "tuned into his frequency" so to speak, and didn't HEAR him.  Finally we did...

"Say... Hay... HAY... why don' yall jus' put a stick on it?" 

Me: What? 
Logan: What are you talkin' about dude? 
My brother: (just sighed and slightly growled) 

"Jus' go'on and put a stick on 'em. Like 'at right ch'er... ah STICK. Puuuut a STICK on 'em." (then he would maniacally laugh as though it was the most clever thing he'd ever thought of) 

He rolled around us for 2 full days saying those lines...
We packed up our things. We left. We cried. We were wolf-less, penniless, and had cerebral damage.

***Side note: How do you know if you are in a full blown white trash world.... Wolf Pups for sale out of the back of a truck.  Also... pale freckled Scandinavian looking people selling "authentic Native American wares." Never forget that. ***

My tattoo.
I have ONE tattoo and it's on my forearm. It is the most recognizable state in the U.S.A. Yes, I have a tattoo of the state of Texas on my forearm. It's solid black, clean lines, and fairly large.

About 2 years ago, at a professional establishment, with college educated professionals hovering with cocktails all around me, I had to engage in small talk with a group of people about my "exciting life," and blah blah blah...  This woman, around 28 years old (I looked her up after this incident of stupidity royale) said the following sentence, and may the good Lord strike me down if I'm lying...

(sigh... okay here it goes)

"Yeah so I am so sorry for asking this but like I have to ask... Did you know that your birthmark looks like exactly like the State of Texas? That is amazing! I mean what are the chances, right?" 

Listen to me people... I have a great tattoo. It is clearly a tattoo. It is clearly NOT a birthmark of amazing coincidence.  So if you are wondering how I responded to that, I can tell you very quickly... I didn't.

I worked at a newspaper in Downtown Dallas. Horrible job. Horrible. I shared an office with the County Clerk within the RECORDS BUILDING. It looked like the 4th floor in the show "Parks and Rec" where they all dreaded going. Ironically enough, I too worked on the 4th floor.

 Anyway. I met some great people that worked there for eons but there was one lady that worked there that was certifiably insane. Well... there were a few, but this one lady took the Blue Ribbon. Her name was Martha. She was from some part of South America or somewhere that speaks Spanish but with a lisssssp. I know they do that in Barthhhhelona, Spain, but she wasn't from Spain.

She wouldn't wash her hands after the restroom, she would use "cream" and just simply moisturize them. This was the first red flag I waived, though meekly, but I still WAVED it. 

Back in those days, I was very broke, very miserable, but I was trying to be healthy and keep the dream alive in any way I could. I had a very strict diet at one point. I was trying the Raw Foodist thing. This was WAY before it was "cool"... Anyway, that's relevant. I always took my lunch with me to work. It usually included several bananas (it's hard to get full on a Raw food vegan diet)...

Martha always watched me eat and made me nervous. One time when I ate garlic on some pasta, she started crying. I'm not lying. She cried and ran to the County Clerk and "told on me" for eating garlic. I mean, sure that's stinky and maybe not the best idea in the workplace, but we were in a busted ass building with rats in the stairwells... so who really cares? The whole place kind of smells like urine anyway. Garlic only helped it... and hey, it keeps vampires away... which also worked there.

ANYWAY... I digress. 

I was eating bananas one day for lunch. Martha was watching me, as usual, and she said the following with her lispy spanish accent whilst putting "dee creams on her hand for cleanings"...

"Ju' knowthhh, Bananas are berry fathenings." 
Me: Huh? No. I mean, sure they could be but it's literally all I'm eating for lunch.

"Ju' gets fat eating banana. Dey are berry berry fatthenings." 
Me: Okay Martha. I got it. I'm going to get fat. I don't care. I'm hungry.

"No no no ju' think about dis things. Ju' alway es'thrying to looooose weight, no? Banana is berry fatthening. Berry. "  "Banana having lots of fatthening tings in dems. Wheats, de rice, fats, es'corns..." 

Me: (I stop eating) Wait... what? Did you just say that bananas have wheat, rice, fats and corn in them? Like, INSIDE the bananas?  Is that what you are saying to me?

"J'yess... corns, es'fats, wheat, rice, all those tings. Berry fatthening, banana.... berry." 

**My friend and I would only bring bananas to work after that. And my friend one time said, "Oh Mel, look, my banana has a hot pocket in it?"  Then I said, "No shit?! Oh my GOD, mine is really fattening today... a whole pepperoni pizza" Then we build the joke from there..... Martha quit. *

...To be continued....

Sunday, November 26, 2017

The Red Pill and Snot Rockets

I'm laying down as I write this blog because I'm dealing with a never-ending (as it seems) sinus infection. I have blown my nose at least 1500 times in the last 2 days and my skin hurts. I've taken Mucinex to the point where it might be dangerous. I've consumed 72 thousand quarts (as it seems) of various herbal teas. I've eaten only soup, prepared by a loved one, that has so much ginger and cayenne in it that it burns going in and out of my body.

So in a sense... I'm merely writing this blog to pass the time and to be a distraction from the horror of my face plumbing.

Thanksgiving came and went, but not without it's fair share of drama... Hence the relapse of my facial anarchy.

We've all been "there," that much I know to be true.

Everyone who knows me well, knows that I love a good n' juicy conspiracy, riddle, or brain teaser. If anyone ever questions my sanity, which I'm sure people have, I don't retreat back into normalcy out of peer pressure to be, well, "normal." Normal is insanity, to me anyway.

I've often thought that I'd be equally happy being a brick maker as I would be doing what I do.  My nightmare is working in an office filing papers and having to attend meetings.  GAWWWWD I hate meetings. HATE them. Especially now in the age of technological conveniences. There's no need for tradish' meetings.
 If I jumped in a time machine and blasted back to 1950 and told a bunch of executives that in 67 years they could have meetings while sitting in bed, eating dinner, and still be able to read body language via a 15 inch screen right in front of them....they'd start building a time machine just to have their meetings in the future.

**If I told these same people, "yeah, no, there will still be those people who love playing grown up so hard that they will want meetings where you have to drive to a building and sit in a cold room while wearing your Sunday best suits... oh... and you'll still come out of that meeting with tons of useless pieces of paper that someone took the time to print out... even though they could've sent it to you electronically, in seconds, while you ate breakfast... AT HOME.....etc.... etc... **

You get my point.

My ultimate arch nemesis is group related meetings or the dreaded forced group "fun."
 I hate it.
This is why I had to stop going to acting/specialized classes ' or 'workshops,' because it was some self-righteous pompous ego maniac teacher had "group fun" planned and forced everyone to "play" or "explore themselves."

 Granted, I may like everyone at that class/meeting/workshop or even the teacher, but after the forced activity is done, I typically steep in hot hot self-regret. Why?
Because I end up saying something that mysteriously offends someone or worse... 
I get a clinger that wants to suck the life out of me because they are attracted to the enormous front I had to put on in order to be in a manic group setting.

I call that "front" the Neon Melodee. It's the flashing sign that represents the regular Melodee. Neon Melodee get's unwanted clingers or ruthless haters. There's no middle ground with Neon Mel's group poll opinion.

It takes a lot to run the program of Neon Mel. Lots of voltage goes into that. Sometimes if I keep Neon Mel burning for too long, it gets hot and burns people.
It's best to only keep it "on" during working hours and shut it down when it isn't needed.

In fact, I rarely turn on Neon Mel because I've found the eco-friendly version of Self that runs off of solar energy instead. When the sun isn't shining, Eco-Mel doesn't waste power.

Eco-Mel really has closed the 'hole in the ozone' with RD Mel. (Real Deal Mel)

Real Deal Mel was about to go extinct at one point in her life. The energy reserves were being depleted so fast that I couldn't insulate the grid.

I realized that many people operate their entire lives via the voltage of whatever their Artificial Self is made of. They send out the Artificial Self to work, school, church, and eventually the AS goes home with you.

Then one day you look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at you.

I think most people operate through the Artificial Self program. I call it a program because that is exactly how it functions. Our mind is an incredible machine. It is extremely complex in it's automatic subroutine objective of "protecting the valuable asset," i.e. Your TRUE self, Real Deal Self.

Your True Self or Real Deal Self :
This is higher functioning, all-knowing, self healing, and is an altruistically loving entity that is who you REALLY are.  It is the Self that is infinite, not bound by the material world, the body or even the mind.

Some people are so far gone into the Artificial Self program that they appear to be happy, or worse-successful!
Successful Artificial Self only serves as a bad catalyst for other people. They begin constructing their Artificial Self to navigate through life too.

Pretty soon, you have an entire social structure of living beings who have lost their personality, individuality, and authenticity. Congratulations, we are living in that world right now and have been for a long, long, long time.

 Some of us have awakened from this AI program,  and are screaming at the "normies" of life.  We say, "this is not who you are! You are infinite and capable of understanding what is behind the veil you've decided is reality!" 

We have a whole society (in the Western World especially) that fully relies on the Artificial Self to run the "program."  Here's a news flash... the Artificial Self has no anti-virus protection, no firewall. 

You are vulnerable to all forms of hacks and hijacking of your beliefs because you have forgotten what your true Self actually believes in!

Do you know how many times I sit back and listen to a group of young women talking to each other and I think, "WHY are you all talking exactly at the same pitch, tone, timbre, and pace?" The Real version of these people isn't the one standing there talking in an unbearably high and mono-cadenced pace. That's the Artificial Selves running the program!

If you think for one second that there aren't groups of people who run the world that KNOW you are operating out of your Artificial Self( and have no "anti-virus" protection) you are sorely misguided.  They MARKET products to your Artificial Self! They know you are letting it take center stage, and they hack into your consciousness by affirming the Artificial Self's costume needs.  The news media wouldn't have a business without this knowledge of how easily swayed the majority of people are when it comes down to it. From tampon choices or  huge over-arching subject matter like FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, the power hungry people of the world are relying on You to operate under the jurisdiction of your Artificial Self.

If you take a step back from the Artificial Self, in your alone moments in life, start asking the question, "how do I FEEL about this or that?"... When you ask this question, imagine yourself as you were when you were in 4th grade.  Seriously, do this exercise.  The 4th grader version of you is about the realist you've been in life with a passable education of critical thinking skills.
You might come up with a far more interesting conclusion than your 'Adult program' knee-jerk response typically gives you.

The fear of peer based ridicule has led us by the nose for FAR too long. 

What is the worst thing that could happen if everyone decided to jump out on a different branch of thought and question things around us? What could happen? You lose the respect of your friends? Your job?  So what!

If that is the case, then doesn't that confirm my entire point about "running the Artificial Self program" en masse? If the Artificial 'other SELVES' are so threatened by you thinking outside of the normal expected program, then doesn't that prove that our social constructs aren't as solid as we believed them to be? Doesn't that fragility of friends and peer group's respect toward you demonstrate how false it was to begin with?

Break the illusion. Shatter it. It isn't serving you or anyone else!

Let me tell you a story....  (don't sigh... don't. It's a good one) 

When I was a kid in elementary school, I was extremely overweight. Being a girl, the "program" was to like dolls, playing house, and hang out with other girls who had ambitions of being cheerleaders or princesses. I didn't understand that there was a "program" so I just developed my personality based on what I found genuinely interesting. (dinosaurs, animals, space ships, time machines, archeology, cars, boats, trains...) Hardly the "program" for a girl in the 1980's.

I went to a TERRIBLE private school until 7th grade-ish. I'm going to call it out right here and now because I still secretly hope that someone from that school (teacher or student) reads my blogs one day and knows how I still feel...  The school's name was Dallas CHRISTIAN School.

I all-cap'd that middle word because it was anything but Christ-like in it's treatment of people who weren't rich, white, or good-looking. They should've called it just "Dallas School," and they wouldn't be lying.

 I remember being told by my 5th grade teacher,  "sit out in the hall during recess with Tracy (one of two African American kids in the whole school)... because you are fat and she is stupid."  This was an exact quote. Tracy wasn't stupid, she was just not painted the same color as everyone else, and I wasn't the same shape, or the same social class (I wasn't rich) as everyone else. I was the kid(and so was Tracy) they filled their charity quota with so they looked "christian like" to other people.  "let the black and the fat poor kid in this year....Amen."

I remember  thinking, "this is wrong. This is unfair and wrong and these adults need to be fired for this."  I tried telling my family but they didn't believe me. Nobody did. I felt alone, even more alone than I always had. Tracy looked at me in that hallway and said, "why are you out here? I told her it was because I am fat." She then said, "well, at least you aren't black," and she looked away and cast her eyes to the ground in shame.  UNACCEPTABLE.

Remember that we were in 5th grade. That means we were 11 years old. ELEVEN years old! Children!!!!!

Let the Program Install: 
So what did we do? We had to survive right? Eventually Tracy left the school for good(thank God) and so did I. However, before I escaped with what was left of my dignity, I had developed an Artificial Self... the one I call Neon Mel. It's the "life of the party" Me. The hilarious, quick witted, seemingly unmovable pillar of confidence and character. Neon Mel can't be hurt! She's made of bright n' hot light that burns your ass if you get too close. Neon Mel was very successful for many many years.

Neon Mel's "program" updated itself and de-bugged all the kinks and lag as the years went by. The programmer of Neon Mel was Real Deal Mel, or Me.  I kept mySelf deliberately hidden behind the Neon light of that Artificial Mel's construction. I only "turned off the light" when I was alone.

To this day, I value my alone time more than I value money,  my job, car, friends...  In fact, I don't have friends that don't accept this facet of Real Deal Mel. It isn't that I am rigid or incapable of meeting in the middle with friendships. Quite the contrary. Life in and of itself functions, or is dysfunctional, due to compromises we make each and every day.

If we bend our Real Deal Self too far over the middle, and too often,  we risk having to live in the Artificial Self program.... thus becoming more dysfunctional instead of authentic and  valuable in society.

Our Artificial Self can be Neon bright or it can be dimmer than who we know ourselves to be.

I know some people (who will remain very much nameless) that have created an Artificial Self that is  anti-matter or a black hole. They suck in all the light and fun around them and steal all the air out of the room. I work with someone like this.

He's running an artificial self program that is based on what his father and his culture expects him to be. He is alone, miserable, and lacks creativity, even though he is in a creative job that relies on that talent to be successful.

Though I do not wish him ill will, there will come a day when his Artificial Self program takes the entire wheel of his life and crashes him smack dab into a rude awakening of "I have nothing but this stupid ass front I've been living."

So why do we run such a destructive and risky program such as the Artificial Self anyway? 

We run that program because at some point in our life, we thought that was a 'safer application' than the one we were born with, within the environment we must adapt to.

*Maybe we started running the Artificial Self program when we were humiliated for the first time by our peers?

 *Maybe it was out of rebellion because we saw someone else being torn to shreds emotionally and figured it was best to hide the similar part of ourselves so that we could avoid the same fate?

 *Maybe we began running the Artificial Self program because our Real Deal Self wasn't stimulated by our environment and we needed to spice it up by creating a "make believe" part of our personality so we could gain interesting friends or experiences!

I've seen the latter version of this mode too(the example directly above this sentence).

These Artificial Self people are the ones who are born with the "silver spoon," so to speak.

They aren't hungry for anything because everything is at their fingertips at any time they want it to be. Their social groups are other silver spoon people who are expected to continue the legacy of the silver spoon breeding program through marriage, or the family's college alma mater, family professions, etc...

These  Artificial Self people are the most dangerous.  IF they get "hungry for something,"  they CAN and DO commit fully to the development of their False Personality Self's required "daily care."

They do this by "dressing the part," or acquiring the skills that "go with that role," or taking massive risks like venturing out of their silver spoon social familial expectations to find another group that could potentially-  prop up/validate their false persona game.  They are like LIFE LONG and DAILY Cosplayers with an unlimited budget for disillusionment.

These people are labeled as "eccentric types," because they still retain an element of elitism. (in spite of their seemingly opposite persona)  In other words, they may dress the part of the bohemian starving artist, but they've padded their own "tip jar."

They have no real authenticity at all. Even their Real Deal Self isn't developed through hardships and struggle because they've never had to navigate through anything without money or the ability to fix their problems by utilizing social influence, family name, or family legacy.

 These types "run the program" of their Artificial Self so well that OTHER people who "Real Deal people" get sucked into their vortex of "collected friends". Their "people collection" are only useful as long as they are propping up the Artificial Persona.

These silver spoon fakers are leaning toward being a bit crazy and are prone to being obsessive. If they want something or fantasize about something that "suits their Eccentric Artificial Self program upgrades", they will stop at nothing to acquire it... including using their trusty ol' Real Deal Self's money and influence to bend the situation or someone's will more toward joining them in their bubble of illusions. 

Again, I know a few people like this, an they are 100% unaware of how crazy they look to everyone outside of their mirrored bubble. You can spot these types of Artificial silver spoon people because they are TERRIBLE listeners. Imagine if you lived in a bubble full of mirrored walls? Someone is trying to talk to you outside of the bubble, but all you see is your own reflection within those confines!

More simply stated....They rarely pay attention to anything other than their own mumbling thoughts that are swimming around in the crazy juice of their brain, desperately trying to maintain this false persona.

Think about it folks... think about wearing a Pokemon costume for the rest of your life... I know, I know, extreme example, but it works to illustrate my point. You decided you were Pokemon long ago because you were just a rich kid that was bored and liked Japanese shit. Now, you're 62 and you are "collecting them all," and hoping that you "evolve your Pokemon." Sounds crazy right? Yeah. That's because it is. It's crazy to commit that hard to a persona that doesn't have any room in the real world to evolve.

In fact, it seems almost impossible to maintain it, doesn't it?

So how are they able to maintain this Artificial Self when everyone else "drops theirs at the door" when they are in a safe environment?

The answer is... money. They have bought this persona and continued to make massive life decisions that require enormous monetary investments in order to "keep the secret of their false persona" safe from being exposed to the glaring light of truth.

If you know anyone like the silver spoon Artificial Persona People,  my advice is to run the other direction. These people are the worst ones to be tangled up with. Here's why... if you aren't ruined by them first, then you'll be given free lifeboats by them when you have been ruined. The legalese of that little/not little  'gift' only leads you right back into their crazy bubble software upgrade.

There's a lot of these people in politics. You can spot them immediately because they can't keep their silver spoons a secret for too long usually.  There are also a lot of these people that are guru types, motivational speakers, or ragged out musicians/entertainers.  They may have some obscure talent, but you'll scratch your head in confusion over how they became so successful when they are mediocre at best, and at worst-they are embarrassingly bad. 

Don't worry- I'm almost done you ADHD freaks who can't commit 15 minutes to reading!

You can see how operating a program of the Artificial Self can be destructive to more than just you. It has a ripple effect through society.  It is the reason "we can't have nice things." That program is also why the masses are referred to as "sheeple." Next time you see a group of people behaving the same and acting like they are all onboard with an activity or idea, do a little harmless experiment for yourself...

Say "Guys, Gals... hey, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm not really into wine parties(or whatever the activity is)... But you guys have fun!" 

If you do this, you'll see other people begin to squirm. This is a good thing. That feeling of "hey I didn't think it was possible to NOT go along with the crowd," is the start of something that may end up helping them discover how to get out of the Artificial Self program. Baby steps, right?

In my case, the Neon Mel has a career that is very much rooted in being extraordinarily charming, quick minded, funny, and confident.

However, I had to drop Neon Mel as a default in social environments so that I could utilize that brightness when it was needed for inspiring others through my talent and creative work.

I had to face facts. Those being- If my friends were only my friends when I was fully lit, as Neon Mel, then they are missing something within themselves. Which means they are  basically parasites that have attached themselves the the most energetic person in the room, i.e. Me.  I don't like parasites.

However if I can say to someone, "hey, I don't really feel like going out because I'm drained and just want to stare at a wall," (and they say) "I understand, thanks for letting me know, get some rest,"....those people are whole people who understand that you can't turn on the charm or fun factor, because you've tapped it out for the day.  They aren't parasites because they don't need to feed off of you to have a good time, or to feel inspired, creative, or confident.

Additional Experiment: If you have one of the Silver Spoon Artificial Self people in your life, you must let them know that you are not part of their illusion.

How? Show them you are a regular ol' gross human being that doesn't care about their "special" interests 24/7. Meaning, you refuse to discuss their "costume or props"  that they use to fill the gaps in their Artificial Self's persona.  A fun thing to do with these types is to crash n' shatter their illusion by saying something about yourself that is so totally human and real that also goes against their "idea" of you.  For instance... If they've "collected" you because you are in a similar field,have a related interest, or have a similar talent...  State very matter-of-factly that  you are "starting to really get into...." (then insert something that is completely COUNTER to their ideas of what and who you are)... 

Example: If this silver spoon Artificial Self person has "collected" you in their life because you reeked of poverty at one point, and had a genius level raw talent in painting... This went along with their bohemian eccentric/starving artist symbolic costume and they ADDED you to their  museum of "starving artist types," that do nothing essentially other than PROP UP their Artificial Persona.  Here's what you do....
Tell them you are going to law school, or starting a Hedge Fund asset company, or tell them that accounting world fascinates you. Just tell them anything that could remind them of the ACTUAL world they come from. If their family were traditionally Neurologists, tell them you are going to enroll in medical school. If their family money came from Oil trade, tell them you are interested in being a Petroleum engineer. Of course it's a lie, but WHEN they get that dumb look of confusion on their face, then you commit further by saying, "well... I'm just tired of being broke and want to have a nice car, fancy house, and money in the bank so I can truly enjoy life. Yeppers, I'm just tired of being a weirdo artist. Time for me to grow the f*** up. You know?"   

***Even if this is the actual antithesis of your wants in life, just say it.  It will begin to chip away at their illusion(s) and it will puncture a hole in their crazy bubble. It might create a large enough hole that they can see out of! Warning: If they do see out of the crazy bubble, then it's best to be far away from them because a melt-down of the 10th degree is next on the list. They will see how they've been viewed by the "outside world" and if the shame doesn't get them first, then the rage will. ***

In my experience with these types, they usually go off the deep end. Any sort of relationship you may have had with them, be it at work, or in a friendship setting, it's best to remove yourself from their path. Remember, it took Crazy to be Crazy, and it's only Crazy that can undo Crazy.
Stay out of their way and don't pity them because their money will save them from jail time or an actual insane asylum.

Trust me, you are doing yourself and them a favor. Once their 'simulation' stops looping, they realize they imprisoned themselves in a holographic world of illusion... and not even a cool hologram.

So... That's it for now.  Hope that all is food for thought.

"Know thyself to Be thyself and yet One with all of creation." -Edgar Cayce


Write me and let me know what your version of Artificial Self is, and how you came to creating that, and what you did to break free from it...

What do you do in order to feed and nurture your Real Deal Self. How is your Real Deal Self different from your Artificial Program Self? How have you navigated between the two? How have you integrated them?

Thanks for reading this...
I'm currently blowing my nose and whining about how horribly chapped my face is from improper paper products used as snot rags... Finally was spared from the scratchy paper towel situation with lotion and Aloe Vera.
 #BeingSickSucks. #SnotRockets #MyNoseIsMadeOfSand

#ArtificialProgram #AI #RichPeopleProblems #DallasChristianSchool1980sSUCKS #FakePeople
#WokeAF #edgarcayce #normies #RedPill

Monday, November 6, 2017

Millennials and You

There is much debate about the true generational time frame of the group called "millennials." This group is defined as being anyone born from about 1982-2002.

I disagree with this generalization of this millennial "generation." I think the group that most people complain about were born around 1995-2001.

I know that isn't a "generation," but it is the social group that everyone loves to hate. They are the "Island of misfit toys." They have over protective parents, unavailable parents, and any complaint they make in life is honored with a movement of some sort. They are lost and have not sought out a way to be found except for asking everyone around them for a "ride home."

Make no mistake, they have power. They may not drive, pay their own rent, or know anything about their higher purpose in life, but they will convince people who have power that it these flaws aren't because of ignorance, but because it is "their choice." So, in essence, the older people view them as having some sort of claim to a throne of decision spouting.

They have no recognition of the previous way-makers who made it possible for them to speak up about taboo issues, or for them to have a choice in their self-expression. It's all "their idea." Everyone thinks it actually is their idea, which feeds the self-generated monster ego of the youngest of the generation known as "millennials."

At the root of this branch of that generation is shame and self-loathing. They are ashamed that they can't navigate through social constructs or be uncomfortable in any way. They loathe themselves for being too weak to handle the school bully in the way previous generations HAD to deal with that archetype... by standing up to them without going on Facebook live threatening to commit suicide.
They hate themselves because they feed off of attention in any form, mostly negative attention, or pity parties. They were "born the wrong gender," they watch YouTube videos of people reacting to watching YouTube videos reacting to a video game or movie trailer. Don't think about it too hard or you'll want to set the world on fire. Trust me.

 If you don't believe me, just go on YouTube and look up any movie trailer that is coming out and you'll find more videos of fresh faced pasty couch potatoes reacting to the movie trailer than you will find the ACTUAL movie trailer. Then look at the view count... the reaction video will have more than Marvel Studios will on their Official Trailer.

They also hate themselves because they have had zero will power for self-transformation. If they were overweight and bullied, they won't eat right, lose weight, or improve their health. Instead, they will start a "group" and they will all talk about how phoney everyone is who is fit and healthy. They claim to have the most tolerance for various differences, but if you are successful, healthy, and motivated, they will resent you.

These folks were born during the 'everyone gets a ribbon' prize at school. I agree that everyone should be supported and uplifted by their progenitors, but if you don't reward the ones who are achieving at a higher rate, then you will not see that budding scientist, architect, artist, inventor- blossom. Everyone will "blossom" without actually having to develop a root.

The most hilarious part of this conundrum is that those of us who have had to pound the pavement, bust our ass, maneuver through the traps set by the Baby Boomers, accumulate 70,000 dollars worth of student debt just to get a job doing something you didn't go to school to do... all of us have to work and live alongside the youngest ones of this millennial generation. We are losing our minds trying to figure out what went wrong.

The Baby Boomers of this country are ignoring it entirely and lumping anyone who is younger than they are into the group of "the masses trying to take their jobs." Yes, yes we are. In fact, we need your jobs so if you wouldn't mind doing what your predecessors did and RETIRE, then we could actually lead this country into a new age of prosperity! However, as it is now, we are all on equal f*****g footing with the babies of the millennial generation and we are pissed off about it.

We have developed our own industries, we have learned about technology, we have watched and learned from the Boomer's mistakes and we are ready to make our own epic mistakes if you guys would sit the F**** down.

In order to understand what went wrong with the "babies" of the millennial generation, you need only to look at the trickle down of our elders.

The Golden Ones- These are the ones who rolled up their sleeves during WWII, got busy cooperating with one another for a common goal. They were happy to join a cause, but a worthy one. They knew how to make a little go a long, long, long way because they lived through the worst possible economic failure in history. They were resourceful, spiritual, humorous, inventive, tough as nails and soft as bunnies. They helped their neighbors. They KNEW their neighbors. They married the love of their life and had children because they WANTED to have children. Children were not a nuisance, they were the next torch bearers to the legacy they worked so hard to build. They fought off terrible diseases like malaria, Tuberculosis, Small Pox, Scarlet Fever, Measles, even the flu was epic back then. If it didn't kill them, it made them stronger.

The Baby Boomers- These were the children of the Golden Ones. After and during WWII, people were breeding like rabbits. They didn't have a lot of kids, but everyone was having kids. The kids were healthy. They had immunities to the "old timer" diseases that killed off millions in the early 1900's. Technology made it possible to store food safely without having to buy canned goods, or pickle everything. Abundance was everywhere. The Golden One's told the Boomers that "if they worked hard, they could have anything they wanted." This was the message implanted in the Boomer's heads. They took great pride in the stories of their parent's during the war efforts. Like the days of ancient Greece, they viewed their mentors on par with the likes of Apollo or Prometheus. They were raised with abundance and knew that it was everyone's right to have a car, house, job, and a family. They held strong and fast to the values of their parents and grandparents even in the face of change, they were going to "keep morality alive." Of course, their version of "morality" was American Patriotism, Government is ALWAYS right, and if you are poor then that means you are lazy.
Children were born. (Gen X)

Late Boomers- The hippies. They resented their older brother or sister for their rigidity regarding race, religion and undying loyalty to American Patriotic ideals. They questioned things. When rumors of the Vietnam conflicts were raging across America, these babies of the boomer generation were trying to sit at the "big boy table" and say "hey wait a minute... does this seem right to you guys?" Of course, they couldn't sit at the adult table and the noble rigid beliefs of the Golden Ones and Baby Boomers were as thick as steel. So... they found each other and started exploring their place in the world and decided that in order to sit at the table of life with their older peer group, they needed to get their attention... hard & fast.  They did the unthinkable. They danced publicly with ripped up jeans on, burned bras in front of the courthouse, smoked any and everything in order to expand their cookie cutter world illusions. They got behind the underdogs and shouted to the towers of power, "hell no we won't go..." Out of these Aquarian behaviors, children were born. (Gen X)

Generation X- This generation was from outer space. ha ha
 They were either born to hippies (Late Boomers) who were disillusioned and had run out of "hippy activist" steam then eventually conformed to their Baby Boomer peer group's demands... OR... Gen X'ers were born to the big boss Baby Boomers who viewed their younger hippy siblings as total losers... thus this fear was projected onto their children (Gen X'ers) who never had a flying chance in hell to impress "daddy." The Gen X'ers were smart. They were completely driven to set themselves apart from the extremes of their "cool hippy aunt that tries to offer them pot" or their Nazi-esque Father and enabling brow beaten Mother who always "did what she was told."  They understood that the real wisdom was in their grandparents. They were closer to their grandparents than they were their parents. By this time, the Golden One's had chilled out. They still retained their hero's story but with an element of "meh, the world is the way it is, so you might as well laugh and live a little... your father is a stick in the mud, and your mother can't pump her own gas... I don't know what we did wrong, but just don't be like your parents, okay kiddo?"

Generation Y-Z (the early- Millennials)- Just as soon as the 'x' group started mastering BASIC in computer lab, the world of tech giants began developing more common sense applications to the everyday usage of computing. No longer was "computer lab" a class, typing was obsolete within a few years, and the internet was taking over every home computer as fast as you could say, "BASIC SUCKS!"
Of course, the "Millennials" were a broad range of births. The initial wave of these kids were confused because they were trapped between the world of old vs. new. They had no recollection of the Cold War, had no memory of any type of grand event except the fear driven 'terror alerts' and 'never forget' propaganda of the Bush jr. administration. They dove deeper into debt, and covered themselves in single serving distractions of the internet boom. The music was morphing from the Grunge n' Gritty to the Glitz n' Glamour. They had no battle cry except the musings of boy bands and "hit me baby one more time," a la Brit' Spears. Surface level music, surface level movies, surface level friends made up the rolodex of their angsty teenage years. Then the later Millennials were coming of age, born in the mid-1990's....

The Millennials you love to hate:
These are the ones that make you cringe with questions of "how did we go wrong?" They are self-obsessed, budding narcissists, and view most events in their life from either the screen of an iPhone or the amount of 'likes' something has on social media. They think everyone but themselves are "old" and though this may sound like every teenager/early 20's person you've ever encountered, it isn't. This group means it. They have no basis of reality because they have never been pushed out of the nest. They cry out "wolf wolf wolf" so much that the rest of us are afraid to say anything that might offer them a megaphone to yell a false "attack" on their individuality. They get media coverage. The Late Boomers of the 1960's hippy movement sympathize (initially) with these young "whistle blowers," because they too were full of angst over bullies, equal rights, and breaking the status quo. The difference is/was, the Late Boomer's had justification and a reason to be pissed off. Though their music festivals ended up being pot smoking hazes and acid trips most of the time, they were at least exploring the limits of consciousness within themselves. They are mistakenly believing that the Young Millennials are doing the same. They aren't. They have no reasons, no justification, no driving force that is bigger than they are. They are just angry temper tantrum filled toddlers who are throwing a fit that they are being forced to grow up and get out. They've latched onto excuse cards like a hoarder latches on to coupons. They get misdiagnosed with everything from ADHD to Autism when only a small percentage actually are affected by those disorders. They are bullied because anything that is difficult is "abusive" and anything that is confusing socially is rendered "unacceptable."

Nobody wants to see anyone being bullied or told they aren't equal with the rest of us, but these youngsters are delighted by their "disease of difference." They latch on to movements faster than a movement is created. They will be the first to deem someone as 'racist' or 'homophobic' or 'intolerant' just because they collectively decided to point something out that they didn't socially understand. They have been educated by memes, forums, sound bites, and 38 second YouTube clips of 7th hand information. They don't dig deeper, they don't discuss topics where people might be able to show them how they have the facts wrong, and if their identity is threatened by anyone knowing more than they do, they will toss out a label on social media that will spread like wildfire and ruin lives.

If they are marching for 'such and such equal rights,' it's only because it's trending and it might make them look intelligent and socially progressive. If you asked them the history of how the movement began or why it is a legitimate protest, they will know nothing except for what they've seen on Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat....the day before.

So who's fault is it? We always want to know who is to blame for failures of society. The sad truth is, we all are to blame. While we have kept our heads firmly buried in the sand, we've neglected a huge group of (now) young adults who needed us to tell them why things suck and how we got here. We've relied on technology to educate them and when we do that, we have given the 'keys to the car' to a soul-less sociopath. The internet has no soul. It has no compassion. It can't educate people on intuitive reasoning, listening to your heart, reading body language, higher spiritual advancement through interpersonal relationships. It is a data stream and if you have the cognitive functioning and higher consciousness development, you can use this data stream to expand your mind, connect, and learn most anything.... YOU have discernment. Discernment is a skill that you learned through the hard knocks, swings at the chest, and uplifting beautiful connections you've made with all of nature.

Discernment is the one missing piece in the young millennial's toolbox. Discernment is like a multi-tool though. It isn't just a Phillips head screwdriver that 'came with the box.' It's a knife, a bottle opener, a can opener, screwdriver, sander, scissors, et al. It services a lot of problems as well as parties. The only way you get this 'multi-tool called Discernment' is by understanding that you might need all of those items at some point in your day to day life. Furthermore, you only understand that you will need those multi-purposed tools by trying to make it through life without them.

These later millennials don't understand because they have never had to solve a problem themselves. They cry out for the older people to do their bidding and give them what they want All.The.Time.  It's a real problem. Sure, it's funny in some ways, but it won't be when these people are refusing to stand up and be leaders of the world. They are waiting for everyone to die so they will inherit the house and all of your things. This way they can just keep existing in limbo and never understanding who they are in the bigger scheme of things. It's safe there. That's their modus operandi, "it's safe here."  They may not verbalize that, in fact, it's doubtful they would ever admit that they are terrified of everything that isn't "them," but deep down they are scared sh**less.

Sadly, it is all of us that have created this monster in the lab of life. We were all so abused by mixed messages and the "walk it out" mentality of our parents, their parents and even the great grandparents, that we've wanted nothing more than for future generations to embrace themselves in a way that we never were allowed to do until we rebelled against our family's wishes or in some cases, went along with the herd to just "keep the peace."  We were so busy surviving the rushing waves of change that we failed to see any value in the hard knocks of our past until we were faced with an entire generation of failed 20 year old toddlers who are sucking us dry.

What do we do?

I have some ideas. Some of which are just hilarious 'what if' scenarios that will never happen except in my dreams, but some of them are actually applicable.

Here it goes...
Why don't we just stop giving energy to anything they are 'crying wolf' about. Just let them yell it out with each other and maybe they will come up with a solution without the assistance of the rest of us. If they are refusing to live on their own and continuously expect the 'gate keeper' to feed them, do their laundry, and give them a high speed internet connection... shut off the internet for a month. Tell them that you just can't afford it right now. See what happens. Internet is more important to the millennials than food is to most of us. They might die without internet. If they have a 'new passion' and it involves you bending your bank account to give them what they want because you feel that maybe this is being 'supportive'... don't.  It's just a trick. They have a new "passion" every other week and it ALWAYS involves YOUR money. If they are serious about their "passion" then they will figure out how to acquire it.  If they resort of stealing money, then you press charges because then they will get the "multi-tool" of DISCERNMENT.   If you see a post by one of them on FB or Twitter that is highly self-righteous and calling out someone as being 'racist, intolerant, or or or...' IGNORE IT.  Do not feed them your opinion or it will be gobbled up by the Opinion monster and recycled for future use against you. Just leave it alone. Let them feel alone in their 'informed wolf crying' and maybe they will start wondering why they aren't able to gaslight anyone. This self-doubt is great for them. It might springboard them into something they don't do... ASK QUESTIONS.

The bottomline...
They must be pushed out of the nest. It takes a village to ruin a generation and it takes a generation to fix it. If you don't think you have the nerve to stand up to the 20 Year Old Toddler, then I ask you to go within and remember a time when you stood up for something bigger than you, against all odds, and think about how that shaped your life.  Or... I ask you to think of a time when someone older than you took the time to 'check you' in a way that made you rethink how you were navigating through life. Who would you be now if nobody opposed you, ever? Think about it. Hard. Who would you be if everyone in your life said "okay sure."

You know what I would be? I'd be living in a box I made that was a "time machine" and I wouldn't wear a bra because I didn't want to when I was 12, and I would eat only donuts, I'd be playing "radio show" on my Fisher Price cassette recorder and feeling like it was the height of my creativity, I would've married a Ninja Turtle, and I'd eventually have died from trying to use my Dad's industrial rock tumbler as a centrifuge to create "anti-gravity" in my TIME MACHINE CARDBOARD BOX!
I also would've been eaten by sharks (I wanted to pet one once), had a pet bear, and my Mom would've given me the baby alligator we found at Caddo Lake because she didn't want me to cry.
I also would've continued my pursuit of being a superhuman by trying to stop a moving car because I just watched Batman and was super pumped up. If nobody had checked me, I would have died by the age of 12... but in the rare case that I had lived through it, I'd be 360 pounds, paralysed, and making a man in a Ninja Turtle costume buy me donuts.

Push them out of the nest. Say no or don't acknowledge the wolf cries. They aren't hurt. They aren't going to die. They might fail, but they have failed already because you have enabled the worst parts of them. If they call you 'abusive' because you tell them to grow up and walk it out, then have a party because you might have just saved their life and the future of the developed world.

That's all folks.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Our 'True Colors' Lie

Personality tests...

We've all taken them. From "which Star Wars character am I," to more dignified ones like the Meyer's Briggs test.

Recently, I had to take, in a group setting, a personality test called, "True Colors." If anyone has taken this test, you know that there are 4 colors. Gold, Green, Blue, and Orange make up the outcome of this test. I enjoyed the workshop, the person who was doing the training was knowledgeable, fair, and had a good sense of humor.

However, as I was sitting in my tiny group of 2 other people who scored the same on the test as I did, I couldn't help but notice how easy it is to feel separate from everyone else in the room.  This separation is a reality, but I think that it is a very sketchy road that often leads to ego.

It's no secret that I have always felt different from most of society. It has been a real struggle at times to try and understand why people do what they do. I have had a terrible time trying to respect traditions that most people hold dear. Weddings, funerals, baptisms, girls night, college fraternities, groups of any kind, patriotism, sports team loyalties... it's all sort of lost on me.

The paradox is that I know we are all 'One' with each other. We are all sharing a planet, air, we all die, we were all born, and yet, we have been trained to be competitive instead of cooperative, individuals instead of brothers, and we find solace in our own ego's need to separate itself and we label it "self confidence." It is an attribute instead of a handicap to be self-confident. It is a notable quality to be self-reliant instead of cooperative. It is sought after to be a king instead of serving the people. We love autonomy and despise collective co-ops.

We see the news and feel empathy for English speaking countries and view anyone who we can't understand as numbers and say, "Oh isn't that a tragedy what's happening over in 'name a country with non-english speaking people' wow, thousands of people died in that earthquake yesterday, so sad...." Yet it's all on the surface, our words are like paint on a brick wall. We still know it's a brick wall, the material we have covered in paint is still the same texture and still segmented bricks held together with concrete mortar.

This is the truth. As hard as it is to admit it, we all know that this is how we are.  On a micro level, we continue this distortion of our true Selves by seeking to "know thyself" by taking various personality tests.  The objective of the particular test I took at work the other day, True Colors, was to see how to relate to others and how to navigate a better sense of communication with our work culture in its various personalities that make up the company and it's implementation of ideals.

However, for the days following this True Colors workshop, I overheard so many people claiming their color as an excuse for being demanding, rude, or stupidly neurotic over things.

"The way you said such and such really hurt my feelings, and as you know, I'm a Blue, so I feel more than you do."

My knee jerk reaction, which I didn't react with but wanted to was, "Well, I'm a Green and I don't care about holding your hand through this project... so walk it out."

I didn't say that. I wanted to. Badly. However, I realized that both of our ego's were searching for ways to communicate and falling short of our goal, or worse- we didn't even understand what the goal was in the first place.

Knowing and understanding what I learned about the various personalities of my department at work, I am definitely the minority. So... it is up to me to meet half way no matter how unimportant or trivial I feel their emotional status is with a project being done. I'm out done, out voted, and because I want the project to run smoothly, I must check my individuality at the door and rely solely on my strengths in the execution of what I'm bringing to the project. Nothing more, nothing less.

Objectivity has always been my super hero power. Compartmentalization is my sidekick. When I lose either one of those superhero powers, I'm working out of ego, anger, and confusion.

A long time ago I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, called, "Living Buddha, Living Christ." I urge anyone of any faith to read this book because it's not about religion as much as it is about Understanding.  There's a chapter in the book that speaks to the issue of the Somalian pirates that wreak havoc and destroy lives, rape, kill, and steal the resources of their raided areas. The writer, a Buddhist monk, states that it is easy to hate them and feel empathy for the victims.  However, this is not the way of the Christ nor the Buddha. He then goes on to say how the people get so low that they are basically forced into being a pirate because if they don't, their entire family will be killed, or starve, or their small village will suffer just because of their decision to NOT participate in the pirate's raiding.  None of them want to be in that position, but generation after generation, it becomes, "the way it is," and they have learned to embrace this life style as the only means for survival. Not their own survival but their entire village, their parents, children, grandparents, etc...

The victims of their raid were those areas that held out or where helped with International aid and after the nice white people left, the pirates show up and the fragile security of resources they have managed to gain is lost within months of the missionaries or foreign aid services leaving the area. They may be located only 30 miles from the village that raised the pirate that is now slaughtering them for their goods, but because the area that the raiders live is "beyond fixing," the missionaries never showed up, the foreign aid never came. Then the ones who are left over in the now-raided city try to receive help from the foreign aid personnel that spent a year there.  The aid never comes back. The help never returns. So it's one of two options available at this point... join the pirate raiders or die.  
And on and on it goes until there's nothing left to raid except more developed societies further away. So they go there, and that is the end of them. What was it all for? To survive another day, to ensure the survival of their family or village one more dreadful day until it's over.  So... some of the victims become the raiders, some of the raiders become the victims, and all of them in the end are lost and forgotten.   This sort of objectivity of seemingly black and white circumstances is essential for understanding the larger issue that was caustic of all of it on both sides.  Separation.

"WE are this way, YOU are that way. There is one of you, ten of us and we win. We have this, you don't, we don't care because you are not us." We all die in the end, we all need each other in the interim so that we can die without being alone, hopeless, and broken in spirit. The cycle of "that's just the way I am," must stop if we ever want to live in a world without violence, terrorist groups, elite fascism, corruption, gangs, rape, starvation, suicide, senseless death caused by a lack of a common medication.  You must understand those that you don't understand if you want to change your world because you are just as vulnerable to the status of the people you resist understanding.

Lastly, how this relates to my introspective view of the personality test I had to take at work was profoundly important and yet, so, so, so simple.

The function of the whole was impossible without the four groups of specific personality types. If one of those four groups of people were missing from any level of that organization, the organization would cease to function. If there were only Green people (like me), you'd have a bunch of people analysing everything in their own head, and building an empire that nobody would appreciate when it was completed other than fellow Green people who would merely nod their head in approval and say, "Very clever. I like it. If you'll notice though, in my design I've incorporated what you've done and also added this or that...I'll call you in 6 weeks when it's finished and we can review our inventions and also I have a theory about why light seems to travel through the longitude regions of space on a vector curve..."  

If it were only Blue types, it would be, "I just feel like eating ice cream today and watching movies. Anyone with me? Oh I just love romantic stories.. true love, ahhh, what a wonderful thing. Tell me about your first love.... we can work on this project too, but I really want to just talk to someone today... give me a hug.... Are you okay? Are you mad at me for interrupting? Are you sure? I sense that you are? Are we still close? I'm sorry if I've ever offended you, come on' let's hug it out... "

If there were only Gold types... "I can't find the policy book or instruction manual to this project. Who is in charge here? I say that we just find the policy and procedures book and go from there. I will not factor in anything other than what has been canonized in the rules and regulations. Don't be late tomorrow or we will have to skip lunch and I have low blood sugar so it is imperative that we get the food ordered for the month just to be sure that if someone is late for some reason, then we can still eat while we work. We will wait for our orders from the boss and follow it to the letter no matter if it works or doesn't work, because that is how we do things here."

If there were only Orange types... "I will bet you that I will finish this project before you. Let's race! Who wants to drink on the job? Screw it, let's do it, nobody will know. Even if they do find out, who cares. They will get over it. Oh look, Game of Thrones is on tv. Let's start after the show. Pass me the key to the vending machine. What?! They didn't leave us food and I'm not paying for anything out of my own pocket. They left the key for the machine and there's a KitKat in there with my freakin' name on it. This job is stupid. Ugh. I'm so bored already."

If all of these groups were together, working in unison, the project would be well thought out, inventive, marketed and packaged to the correct client base, and it would be fun to see how fast it could be done and how effective it would be at solving the overarching need/lack.

Each one of these on their own are borderline psychotic at worst and at best a "hot mess."

We must understand that we ARE our "brother's keepers." We are not an island. There are always at minimum, two sides to each argument but at maximum there are infinite sides which all equal "Us."

Go within to know thyself. Uncover what you have been taught by teachers, religion, media, social peer groups, the education system and ask the small voice within to speak louder. What are your guiding ideals as a person? Is it Love, Truth, Knowledge, Unity, Service....? What drives you to be better? Who do you admire as the ultimate expression of what you hold dear? What is it about that person that you value more than other people? Start there. Find that principle. Do the work to understand how that principle works in a real life, day to day navigation through your life.

Then find out what stops you from living that ideal. What principle is "in the way" of that awe inspiring principle you hold so dear? Find the relationship between those two seemingly "conflicting" ideals and then ask yourself how you can resolve that. Maybe you need to redefine the principle for yourself. Maybe you need to understand one more than the other so you know where and why you have it in your mind. Whatever and however you understand yourself better, your life and therefore your world will be better for it. There is nothing more productive that you can do than to understand what drives you on a very deep subconscious level. It will be the key that unlocks your transformation in becoming the soul you were born to be. If we all do this, we change the world into something consciously directed instead of secretly manipulated by the ego of mankind.

Look up, Look in, and don't be stupid.

Written by,
Melodee L. Lenz