Sunday, November 26, 2017

The Red Pill and Snot Rockets

I'm laying down as I write this blog because I'm dealing with a never-ending (as it seems) sinus infection. I have blown my nose at least 1500 times in the last 2 days and my skin hurts. I've taken Mucinex to the point where it might be dangerous. I've consumed 72 thousand quarts (as it seems) of various herbal teas. I've eaten only soup, prepared by a loved one, that has so much ginger and cayenne in it that it burns going in and out of my body.

So in a sense... I'm merely writing this blog to pass the time and to be a distraction from the horror of my face plumbing.


Thanksgiving came and went, but not without it's fair share of drama... Hence the relapse of my facial anarchy.

We've all been "there," that much I know to be true.

Everyone who knows me well, knows that I love a good n' juicy conspiracy, riddle, or brain teaser. If anyone ever questions my sanity, which I'm sure people have, I don't retreat back into normalcy out of peer pressure to be, well, "normal." Normal is insanity, to me anyway.

I've often thought that I'd be equally happy being a brick maker as I would be doing what I do.  My nightmare is working in an office filing papers and having to attend meetings.  GAWWWWD I hate meetings. HATE them. Especially now in the age of technological conveniences. There's no need for tradish' meetings.
 If I jumped in a time machine and blasted back to 1950 and told a bunch of executives that in 67 years they could have meetings while sitting in bed, eating dinner, and still be able to read body language via a 15 inch screen right in front of them....they'd start building a time machine just to have their meetings in the future.

**If I told these same people, "yeah, no, there will still be those people who love playing grown up so hard that they will want meetings where you have to drive to a building and sit in a cold room while wearing your Sunday best suits... oh... and you'll still come out of that meeting with tons of useless pieces of paper that someone took the time to print out... even though they could've sent it to you electronically, in seconds, while you ate breakfast... AT HOME.....etc.... etc... **

You get my point.

My ultimate arch nemesis is group related meetings or the dreaded forced group "fun."
 I hate it.
This is why I had to stop going to acting/specialized classes ' or 'workshops,' because it was some self-righteous pompous ego maniac teacher had "group fun" planned and forced everyone to "play" or "explore themselves."

 Granted, I may like everyone at that class/meeting/workshop or even the teacher, but after the forced activity is done, I typically steep in hot hot self-regret. Why?
Because I end up saying something that mysteriously offends someone or worse... 
I get a clinger that wants to suck the life out of me because they are attracted to the enormous front I had to put on in order to be in a manic group setting.

I call that "front" the Neon Melodee. It's the flashing sign that represents the regular Melodee. Neon Melodee get's unwanted clingers or ruthless haters. There's no middle ground with Neon Mel's group poll opinion.

It takes a lot to run the program of Neon Mel. Lots of voltage goes into that. Sometimes if I keep Neon Mel burning for too long, it gets hot and burns people.
It's best to only keep it "on" during working hours and shut it down when it isn't needed.

In fact, I rarely turn on Neon Mel because I've found the eco-friendly version of Self that runs off of solar energy instead. When the sun isn't shining, Eco-Mel doesn't waste power.


Eco-Mel really has closed the 'hole in the ozone' with RD Mel. (Real Deal Mel)

Real Deal Mel was about to go extinct at one point in her life. The energy reserves were being depleted so fast that I couldn't insulate the grid.

I realized that many people operate their entire lives via the voltage of whatever their Artificial Self is made of. They send out the Artificial Self to work, school, church, and eventually the AS goes home with you.

Then one day you look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at you.

I think most people operate through the Artificial Self program. I call it a program because that is exactly how it functions. Our mind is an incredible machine. It is extremely complex in it's automatic subroutine objective of "protecting the valuable asset," i.e. Your TRUE self, Real Deal Self.

Your True Self or Real Deal Self :
This is higher functioning, all-knowing, self healing, and is an altruistically loving entity that is who you REALLY are.  It is the Self that is infinite, not bound by the material world, the body or even the mind.

Some people are so far gone into the Artificial Self program that they appear to be happy, or worse-successful!
Successful Artificial Self only serves as a bad catalyst for other people. They begin constructing their Artificial Self to navigate through life too.

Pretty soon, you have an entire social structure of living beings who have lost their personality, individuality, and authenticity. Congratulations, we are living in that world right now and have been for a long, long, long time.

 Some of us have awakened from this AI program,  and are screaming at the "normies" of life.  We say, "this is not who you are! You are infinite and capable of understanding what is behind the veil you've decided is reality!" 

We have a whole society (in the Western World especially) that fully relies on the Artificial Self to run the "program."  Here's a news flash... the Artificial Self has no anti-virus protection, no firewall. 

You are vulnerable to all forms of hacks and hijacking of your beliefs because you have forgotten what your true Self actually believes in!

Do you know how many times I sit back and listen to a group of young women talking to each other and I think, "WHY are you all talking exactly at the same pitch, tone, timbre, and pace?" The Real version of these people isn't the one standing there talking in an unbearably high and mono-cadenced pace. That's the Artificial Selves running the program!

If you think for one second that there aren't groups of people who run the world that KNOW you are operating out of your Artificial Self( and have no "anti-virus" protection) you are sorely misguided.  They MARKET products to your Artificial Self! They know you are letting it take center stage, and they hack into your consciousness by affirming the Artificial Self's costume needs.  The news media wouldn't have a business without this knowledge of how easily swayed the majority of people are when it comes down to it. From tampon choices or  huge over-arching subject matter like FREEDOM OF THE PRESS, the power hungry people of the world are relying on You to operate under the jurisdiction of your Artificial Self.

If you take a step back from the Artificial Self, in your alone moments in life, start asking the question, "how do I FEEL about this or that?"... When you ask this question, imagine yourself as you were when you were in 4th grade.  Seriously, do this exercise.  The 4th grader version of you is about the realist you've been in life with a passable education of critical thinking skills.
You might come up with a far more interesting conclusion than your 'Adult program' knee-jerk response typically gives you.

The fear of peer based ridicule has led us by the nose for FAR too long. 

What is the worst thing that could happen if everyone decided to jump out on a different branch of thought and question things around us? What could happen? You lose the respect of your friends? Your job?  So what!

If that is the case, then doesn't that confirm my entire point about "running the Artificial Self program" en masse? If the Artificial 'other SELVES' are so threatened by you thinking outside of the normal expected program, then doesn't that prove that our social constructs aren't as solid as we believed them to be? Doesn't that fragility of friends and peer group's respect toward you demonstrate how false it was to begin with?

Break the illusion. Shatter it. It isn't serving you or anyone else!

Let me tell you a story....  (don't sigh... don't. It's a good one) 

When I was a kid in elementary school, I was extremely overweight. Being a girl, the "program" was to like dolls, playing house, and hang out with other girls who had ambitions of being cheerleaders or princesses. I didn't understand that there was a "program" so I just developed my personality based on what I found genuinely interesting. (dinosaurs, animals, space ships, time machines, archeology, cars, boats, trains...) Hardly the "program" for a girl in the 1980's.

I went to a TERRIBLE private school until 7th grade-ish. I'm going to call it out right here and now because I still secretly hope that someone from that school (teacher or student) reads my blogs one day and knows how I still feel...  The school's name was Dallas CHRISTIAN School.

I all-cap'd that middle word because it was anything but Christ-like in it's treatment of people who weren't rich, white, or good-looking. They should've called it just "Dallas School," and they wouldn't be lying.

 I remember being told by my 5th grade teacher,  "sit out in the hall during recess with Tracy (one of two African American kids in the whole school)... because you are fat and she is stupid."  This was an exact quote. Tracy wasn't stupid, she was just not painted the same color as everyone else, and I wasn't the same shape, or the same social class (I wasn't rich) as everyone else. I was the kid(and so was Tracy) they filled their charity quota with so they looked "christian like" to other people.  "let the black and the fat poor kid in this year....Amen."

I remember  thinking, "this is wrong. This is unfair and wrong and these adults need to be fired for this."  I tried telling my family but they didn't believe me. Nobody did. I felt alone, even more alone than I always had. Tracy looked at me in that hallway and said, "why are you out here? I told her it was because I am fat." She then said, "well, at least you aren't black," and she looked away and cast her eyes to the ground in shame.  UNACCEPTABLE.

Remember that we were in 5th grade. That means we were 11 years old. ELEVEN years old! Children!!!!!

Let the Program Install: 
So what did we do? We had to survive right? Eventually Tracy left the school for good(thank God) and so did I. However, before I escaped with what was left of my dignity, I had developed an Artificial Self... the one I call Neon Mel. It's the "life of the party" Me. The hilarious, quick witted, seemingly unmovable pillar of confidence and character. Neon Mel can't be hurt! She's made of bright n' hot light that burns your ass if you get too close. Neon Mel was very successful for many many years.

Neon Mel's "program" updated itself and de-bugged all the kinks and lag as the years went by. The programmer of Neon Mel was Real Deal Mel, or Me.  I kept mySelf deliberately hidden behind the Neon light of that Artificial Mel's construction. I only "turned off the light" when I was alone.

To this day, I value my alone time more than I value money,  my job, car, friends...  In fact, I don't have friends that don't accept this facet of Real Deal Mel. It isn't that I am rigid or incapable of meeting in the middle with friendships. Quite the contrary. Life in and of itself functions, or is dysfunctional, due to compromises we make each and every day.

If we bend our Real Deal Self too far over the middle, and too often,  we risk having to live in the Artificial Self program.... thus becoming more dysfunctional instead of authentic and  valuable in society.

Our Artificial Self can be Neon bright or it can be dimmer than who we know ourselves to be.

I know some people (who will remain very much nameless) that have created an Artificial Self that is  anti-matter or a black hole. They suck in all the light and fun around them and steal all the air out of the room. I work with someone like this.

He's running an artificial self program that is based on what his father and his culture expects him to be. He is alone, miserable, and lacks creativity, even though he is in a creative job that relies on that talent to be successful.

Though I do not wish him ill will, there will come a day when his Artificial Self program takes the entire wheel of his life and crashes him smack dab into a rude awakening of "I have nothing but this stupid ass front I've been living."

So why do we run such a destructive and risky program such as the Artificial Self anyway? 

We run that program because at some point in our life, we thought that was a 'safer application' than the one we were born with, within the environment we must adapt to.

*Maybe we started running the Artificial Self program when we were humiliated for the first time by our peers?

 *Maybe it was out of rebellion because we saw someone else being torn to shreds emotionally and figured it was best to hide the similar part of ourselves so that we could avoid the same fate?

 *Maybe we began running the Artificial Self program because our Real Deal Self wasn't stimulated by our environment and we needed to spice it up by creating a "make believe" part of our personality so we could gain interesting friends or experiences!

I've seen the latter version of this mode too(the example directly above this sentence).

These Artificial Self people are the ones who are born with the "silver spoon," so to speak.

They aren't hungry for anything because everything is at their fingertips at any time they want it to be. Their social groups are other silver spoon people who are expected to continue the legacy of the silver spoon breeding program through marriage, or the family's college alma mater, family professions, etc...

These  Artificial Self people are the most dangerous.  IF they get "hungry for something,"  they CAN and DO commit fully to the development of their False Personality Self's required "daily care."

They do this by "dressing the part," or acquiring the skills that "go with that role," or taking massive risks like venturing out of their silver spoon social familial expectations to find another group that could potentially-  prop up/validate their false persona game.  They are like LIFE LONG and DAILY Cosplayers with an unlimited budget for disillusionment.

These people are labeled as "eccentric types," because they still retain an element of elitism. (in spite of their seemingly opposite persona)  In other words, they may dress the part of the bohemian starving artist, but they've padded their own "tip jar."

They have no real authenticity at all. Even their Real Deal Self isn't developed through hardships and struggle because they've never had to navigate through anything without money or the ability to fix their problems by utilizing social influence, family name, or family legacy.

 These types "run the program" of their Artificial Self so well that OTHER people who "Real Deal people" get sucked into their vortex of "collected friends". Their "people collection" are only useful as long as they are propping up the Artificial Persona.

These silver spoon fakers are leaning toward being a bit crazy and are prone to being obsessive. If they want something or fantasize about something that "suits their Eccentric Artificial Self program upgrades", they will stop at nothing to acquire it... including using their trusty ol' Real Deal Self's money and influence to bend the situation or someone's will more toward joining them in their bubble of illusions. 

Again, I know a few people like this, an they are 100% unaware of how crazy they look to everyone outside of their mirrored bubble. You can spot these types of Artificial silver spoon people because they are TERRIBLE listeners. Imagine if you lived in a bubble full of mirrored walls? Someone is trying to talk to you outside of the bubble, but all you see is your own reflection within those confines!

More simply stated....They rarely pay attention to anything other than their own mumbling thoughts that are swimming around in the crazy juice of their brain, desperately trying to maintain this false persona.

Think about it folks... think about wearing a Pokemon costume for the rest of your life... I know, I know, extreme example, but it works to illustrate my point. You decided you were Pokemon long ago because you were just a rich kid that was bored and liked Japanese shit. Now, you're 62 and you are "collecting them all," and hoping that you "evolve your Pokemon." Sounds crazy right? Yeah. That's because it is. It's crazy to commit that hard to a persona that doesn't have any room in the real world to evolve.

In fact, it seems almost impossible to maintain it, doesn't it?

So how are they able to maintain this Artificial Self when everyone else "drops theirs at the door" when they are in a safe environment?

The answer is... money. They have bought this persona and continued to make massive life decisions that require enormous monetary investments in order to "keep the secret of their false persona" safe from being exposed to the glaring light of truth.

If you know anyone like the silver spoon Artificial Persona People,  my advice is to run the other direction. These people are the worst ones to be tangled up with. Here's why... if you aren't ruined by them first, then you'll be given free lifeboats by them when you have been ruined. The legalese of that little/not little  'gift' only leads you right back into their crazy bubble software upgrade.

There's a lot of these people in politics. You can spot them immediately because they can't keep their silver spoons a secret for too long usually.  There are also a lot of these people that are guru types, motivational speakers, or ragged out musicians/entertainers.  They may have some obscure talent, but you'll scratch your head in confusion over how they became so successful when they are mediocre at best, and at worst-they are embarrassingly bad. 

Don't worry- I'm almost done you ADHD freaks who can't commit 15 minutes to reading!

You can see how operating a program of the Artificial Self can be destructive to more than just you. It has a ripple effect through society.  It is the reason "we can't have nice things." That program is also why the masses are referred to as "sheeple." Next time you see a group of people behaving the same and acting like they are all onboard with an activity or idea, do a little harmless experiment for yourself...

Say "Guys, Gals... hey, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm not really into wine parties(or whatever the activity is)... But you guys have fun!" 

If you do this, you'll see other people begin to squirm. This is a good thing. That feeling of "hey I didn't think it was possible to NOT go along with the crowd," is the start of something that may end up helping them discover how to get out of the Artificial Self program. Baby steps, right?

In my case, the Neon Mel has a career that is very much rooted in being extraordinarily charming, quick minded, funny, and confident.

However, I had to drop Neon Mel as a default in social environments so that I could utilize that brightness when it was needed for inspiring others through my talent and creative work.

I had to face facts. Those being- If my friends were only my friends when I was fully lit, as Neon Mel, then they are missing something within themselves. Which means they are  basically parasites that have attached themselves the the most energetic person in the room, i.e. Me.  I don't like parasites.

However if I can say to someone, "hey, I don't really feel like going out because I'm drained and just want to stare at a wall," (and they say) "I understand, thanks for letting me know, get some rest,"....those people are whole people who understand that you can't turn on the charm or fun factor, because you've tapped it out for the day.  They aren't parasites because they don't need to feed off of you to have a good time, or to feel inspired, creative, or confident.

Additional Experiment: If you have one of the Silver Spoon Artificial Self people in your life, you must let them know that you are not part of their illusion.

How? Show them you are a regular ol' gross human being that doesn't care about their "special" interests 24/7. Meaning, you refuse to discuss their "costume or props"  that they use to fill the gaps in their Artificial Self's persona.  A fun thing to do with these types is to crash n' shatter their illusion by saying something about yourself that is so totally human and real that also goes against their "idea" of you.  For instance... If they've "collected" you because you are in a similar field,have a related interest, or have a similar talent...  State very matter-of-factly that  you are "starting to really get into...." (then insert something that is completely COUNTER to their ideas of what and who you are)... 

Example: If this silver spoon Artificial Self person has "collected" you in their life because you reeked of poverty at one point, and had a genius level raw talent in painting... This went along with their bohemian eccentric/starving artist symbolic costume and they ADDED you to their  museum of "starving artist types," that do nothing essentially other than PROP UP their Artificial Persona.  Here's what you do....
Tell them you are going to law school, or starting a Hedge Fund asset company, or tell them that accounting world fascinates you. Just tell them anything that could remind them of the ACTUAL world they come from. If their family were traditionally Neurologists, tell them you are going to enroll in medical school. If their family money came from Oil trade, tell them you are interested in being a Petroleum engineer. Of course it's a lie, but WHEN they get that dumb look of confusion on their face, then you commit further by saying, "well... I'm just tired of being broke and want to have a nice car, fancy house, and money in the bank so I can truly enjoy life. Yeppers, I'm just tired of being a weirdo artist. Time for me to grow the f*** up. You know?"   

***Even if this is the actual antithesis of your wants in life, just say it.  It will begin to chip away at their illusion(s) and it will puncture a hole in their crazy bubble. It might create a large enough hole that they can see out of! Warning: If they do see out of the crazy bubble, then it's best to be far away from them because a melt-down of the 10th degree is next on the list. They will see how they've been viewed by the "outside world" and if the shame doesn't get them first, then the rage will. ***

In my experience with these types, they usually go off the deep end. Any sort of relationship you may have had with them, be it at work, or in a friendship setting, it's best to remove yourself from their path. Remember, it took Crazy to be Crazy, and it's only Crazy that can undo Crazy.
Stay out of their way and don't pity them because their money will save them from jail time or an actual insane asylum.


Trust me, you are doing yourself and them a favor. Once their 'simulation' stops looping, they realize they imprisoned themselves in a holographic world of illusion... and not even a cool hologram.

So... That's it for now.  Hope that all is food for thought.

"Know thyself to Be thyself and yet One with all of creation." -Edgar Cayce

Also...

Write me and let me know what your version of Artificial Self is, and how you came to creating that, and what you did to break free from it...

What do you do in order to feed and nurture your Real Deal Self. How is your Real Deal Self different from your Artificial Program Self? How have you navigated between the two? How have you integrated them?

Thanks for reading this...
I'm currently blowing my nose and whining about how horribly chapped my face is from improper paper products used as snot rags... Finally was spared from the scratchy paper towel situation with lotion and Aloe Vera.
 #BeingSickSucks. #SnotRockets #MyNoseIsMadeOfSand

#ArtificialProgram #AI #RichPeopleProblems #DallasChristianSchool1980sSUCKS #FakePeople
#WokeAF #edgarcayce #normies #RedPill






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