Monday, December 11, 2017

One Ring To Rule Them ALL

I lived in Los Angeles back in 2004 and 2005. The disillusionment I suffered upon arrival in that God forsaken town forever changed me. For those of you reading this that have not been there or lived there, and only see the images created by the media machine, I'm here to tell you that it is nothing short of being the most spun web of lies ever told.

In the recent news, daily it seems, we see the #MeToo claims and lists of various celebrities and directors/producers that are being called out on their past acts of deplorable behavior.

Of course there are those who want to say that it is nothing more than a witch hunt, that there's nothing driving it other than the liberal media, but that isn't true. 

In fact, the mainstream media is not reporting it as much as it is actually occurring, which is why there seems to be so many claims surfacing like a bursting boil of whistleblowers, leakers, and movements surrounding the hashtag MeToo.

Our first big whallop of intel was on the producer/director, Harvey Weinstein. This seemed to come out around the time of the Las Vegas shooting incident. These things seem unrelated, but they are anything but. Before you log out of this blog, here me out. I'm NOT saying that Harvey Weinstein had anything to do with Vegas. He didn't. However, as we know now, Mr. Weinstein was only the first among hundreds of  intel leaks on various celebrities.  It seems to be a much bigger secret that is being revealed, possibly one that has cords that stretch and weave in and out of all the most powerful positions within the United States. 

The Vegas shooting smells like a rotten case of "solved too easily, all questions answered." In fact, very few questions were answered, and it seemed to disappear from the press shortly after it happened. Odd, isn't it? I mean, it's 2017, almost 2018 and we STILL speak of the OKC bombing, Waco, Colorado movie theatre shooting, 911, etc...  What was the difference between these massive attacks and the Vegas shooting?  We the people and our Cell phones, filming, tweeting, snapchatting, Facebooking, YouTubing, Instagramming,  texting, etc...
This is why the fear driven narrative, or cut n' dry "who done it and why,"  disappeared from the media.

Within 24 hours of the Vegas shooting, hundreds of videos were being tweeted and posted on social media accounts that either captured audio or video of multiple shooters, locked gates that were previously unlocked,  and more. Sadly, anyone who has come forward has mysteriously "disappeared or died in an accident."  Look it up. Last I checked, the death or disappearance tally was up to 6 persons.

Of course, the interview on Ellen Degeneres's show featuring  Jesus Campos (the supposed security guard who was on the scene) was clearly a rehearsed statement that left more questions than it did answers. (for me anyway)

 And why did this man go on a mid-day show like Ellen, instead of being questioned by supposed "legitimate" journalists? Ellen is a stand-up comedian. I'm just saying.

When you have an 'asset' that isn't fully trained in the alphabet soup agencies narrative,  "here's how you lie without looking like you are lying" program, you "test him out" on a mid-day show geared towards housewives and low income earners who work late nights, work from home, or are retired middle income Apple Pie Americans.  In other words, the most forgiving audience. The audience with the most blind spots in their logic. 

**I'm not saying Ellen's show isn't an entertaining one, but it's NOT serious investigative journalism. And a "eye witness" like Jesus Campos should be coming out on something with a bit more weight than Ellen.**

The "No Such Agency" and "Clowns In America" agencies throughout history -have assets.
Definition of a military asset: equipment such as communication devices, ships, planes, radar, or any employed military operative utilized in a military operation. 

These are skilled operatives that can blend into normal everyday life as easily as a homeless bum blends in under a bridge in Downtown Dallas. They are "normal" looking, have seemingly normal admin jobs, are routinely seen in public places like casinos, concerts, bars, events, and they have a crutch of some sort typically. Whether this crutch is part of their cover or a part of their coping, it exists and if the asset is compromised, the "crutch" or "flaw" is usually the culprit to the media cover story. Within the strata of 'assets' you have ranking. Some assets are valuable, some are disposable. Some are somewhere in the middle.

"Paddock collected and bought illegal weapons and had a deep gambling debt."  The masses who are asleep and believe anything they see on the news, think to themselves, "oh, yeah, well that's why then... yep, he was clearly unstable... no wonder. Well, thank God they got 'em."  Also, remember that around 30 minutes after the Vegas shooting, the wrong narrative leaked out to the media and then never resurfaced. Remember that? It was the ISIS narrative. It was so obviously the vetoed intel, it was immediately scrubbed and never mentioned again. However, if you were a late night insomniac like me, you remember the various intelligence "discoveries" they "tried out" before they just went for the lamest one and stuck with it... kind of. The reporters don't know, they are only reporting what is being given to them from various sources  from the top down.

What is the 'top down'... Do the research on Operation Mockingbird.
This is a FOA document that is easily downloaded in PDF.  In a nutshell, for those of you who don't have the time to nerd out on some declassified documents garnered from the Freedom of Information Act:
Operation Mockingbird was an alleged large-scale program of the United States Central Intelligence Agency that began in the early 1950s and attempted to manipulate news media for propaganda purposes.  (not alleged. You can download the actual copies from the FOA department. OR... if you can't be bothered, I'll enclose a link to the download at the bottom of the blog) 

Someone who is 65 years old managed to smuggle up dozens of automatic weapons into a very popular hotel during a music festival weekend, wire his girlfriend 100k, and have the energy to load and reload very advanced automatic weapons within minutes, break the glass (it's triple reinforced glass, if not stronger) and wipe out hundreds of people in a short amount of time, kill himself, and then make sure a note is left within plain view for the authorities to effortlessly find upon entering his hotel room.  That is only a fraction of the holes in the story, and I'm not even counting the hundreds of cell phone videos or audio, dashcams in cabs, that paint a very different picture.


Within hours, the mainstream was spouting his name, interviewing his brother, and trying to paint a huge backstory of this guy being raised by a Top 10 Most Wanted father. The brother poo-poo'd that theory stating that they never had contact with their father, were primarily raised by their mother. The brother of Paddock was not going to pipe down from his "this is really weird, I don't know how this happened, I just saw him, I can't understand this, this smells fishy..."   Two weeks later, Paddock's brother is arrested for child pornography.  What a great way to make someone disappear and completely discredit him at the same time. 

Of course, he very well may have had child porn but the whole thing seems pretty perfect since he was about to go on all the media outlets to demand an independent investigation of the "evidence" against Paddock. If you saw the interview with Paddock's brother, you can see how his personality was. He was not a meek and mild guy. He was outraged and very vocal about how he couldn't believe his brother was to blame for all that carnage. He was kind of an out-of-the-box guy in the sense of how verbal he was and uncensored immediately upon the media's multiple reporters showing up at his house. *


**Side note: Stephen Paddock worked at connected company in conjunction to Lockheed Martin back in the 80's doing administrative accounting work... sound familiar to the 'asset' requirements? He owned apartment complexes(a classic cover), and had many lavish frivolities including a private plane that he paid to have parked at Love Field Airport in Dallas, Texas. Routinely spent 10 to 20 thousand dollars a day at casinos, had multiple properties, etc.. Just a normal guy, right? Wrong. He was an asset. A disposable asset. Somewhere in the legalese of his contractual obligations was the risk of being compromised publically if something went wrong. Most of these 'assets' get their millions of dollars being private contractors in groups like Black Water or other mercenary, private security type outfits. Yet, it's all connected, and the paper trail never makes it back to the good ol' Clowns In America agency or whomever funded the entire operation.**


During the same time of the Vegas shooting, we have the accounts coming forward regarding the sexual abuse involving Harvey Weinstein.  This was the catalyst for many, many, many others who have spend countless amounts of money, in some cases Slush Fund money, to cover their sexual misdeeds. 

The lists of senators, congressmen, corporate execs, celebrities, media personalities, is growing daily. Of course, if you are one of the people who are only watching CNN or some other huge media company's slant on the news, you haven't seen the full fallout.  Why are they keeping this information on such a short leash?  Why is the senate trying to block other news sources like RT or Drudge Report? Why is Google moving the search results of these news sources further down on the search results? Are they saying too much? Are they not going along with the power player's clearly fake slant on various supposed intel?  It's all so obvious. For those of you wanting to blame POTUS for this, don't. This is far deeper than the office of the President of the United States. I am not a cheerleader for Donald Trump either.  However, he is becoming a big thorn in the side of the corruption that has been going on in this world for at least a hundred years. Whether or not he realizes he is a thorn in their side is irrelevant. He isn't what they had planned on, and the leaks are coming out in an embarrassing stream of shame regarding the fabricated narrative of Russia having anything to do with rigging our elections. The power elite can't control someone like Donald Trump because he's irrational and a fuse that gets set off by everything.  This doesn't make him a good president, it just makes him the right one for what needs to be uncovered right now which is nothing short of pure evil. 

In the last couple of months, these sexual scandals and Vault 7 leaks have exposed everything from pedophile sex trafficking rings to private airplanes supported by the Clinton Foundation that go to an island full of sex trafficked underage women, funding by Podesta's disgusting brother Tony's child torture art collection (featured in various Art circles as being "deep"), and the corruption within everything from the Red Cross, Senate, Congress, ABC, NBC, NPR, FOX, CBS and even Disney.

These elite power players are part of a network of globalist who participate in nefarious activities in a type of "boys club" that pats the back of each other and rarely gets called out for anything because everyone has dirt on everyone else in that nasty ring of powerful puppet masters. Blackmail is the name of the game, and everyone has something on everyone else when you get to the higher rungs of the ladder.




It's the oldest intelligence chess move on the planet. Nobody blows the whistle in that circle because the whistle will be blown on them. That's how it works. It must be uprooted and the "weeds must be plucked from the wheat." That's happening. That's why you are inundated with scandalous shameful information 24/7. The world of the evil elites are being exposed for the crimes against humanity and it's been a calculated take-down from the ground level. You get one to squeal, you get ten, and so on and so forth. THAT, mixed with the data dumps from Assange and other insiders, you have a very clear flow chart of why all of this is happening now. It has to, and it's been a long time coming. 

What if these sick individuals and scandals and dirty secrets were all somehow connected? Why is it that the most visible and outspoken people would risk having such dirty laundry in their lives? Why or how would they feel comfortable doing their terrible abusive sexual power plays when it could be so easily busted?  Because it wasn't easily busted. This elite power structure of Hollywood and Washington, is deeply rooted in something far more sinister. When you reach a certain level of power and money or influence, there are snakes that come out of the bushes to bait you with more power, more money, more influence.  The psychological parts to anyone who wants to "make it" in Hollywood is an unquenchable hunger to be recognized for your talent.

I know this first hand. I once pined for that same recognition. I wanted to be great, to be recognized on the street, to be adored by thousands of people across the world. I was broken and had huge amounts of talent that made me so happy to perform for people, to share with people. At the core of myself was the lonely misunderstood fractured little girl who just wanted to be loved by people, and validated for being who I knew myself to be.  This cannot be gained from the outside-in.  This hungry hungry hippo game of life within Hollywood and the political world begins and ends with EGO.  You have to have a healthy and eventually very UNhealthy ego to think that you and you alone are worthy of massive amounts of people basically worshipping what you do. What are you offering that is THAT valuable?  Is it your 'art' or is it your Ego? When the ideals driving you are higher in conscious direction, you will gain that respect from the world but without the trappings of shame, guilt, and regret for the abuse you put yourself through in order to "get fame."

Women have it rough in Hollywood. Our corrupt and moral-less society has placed value on only the material existence.  Of course, in order to not be "found out" for the devils they are, the powers occasionally throw a bone to an overweight singer, or a less-than beautiful/handsome actor, someone handicapped, etc...  That is only because the public needs to believe that Hollywood is based on talent and not on a select few's disgusting power hungry needs and agendas. 

I should mention that I wasn't one of those that wasn't "working" as an actor in Hollywood. I had stumbled backwards into several pots of gold there but the way I felt at the end of the day was nothing short of suicidal.  **Read my blog entitled, "The Dream That Changed Everything," to understand my mental state at that time.**

Early on in my life as a performer, I would meet these very charismatic men who seemed to take an interest in my talent. They were always funny, charming, slightly out of shape, and successful or respected in the world of acting/film making. I always rationalized that I must've been "lucky" to have met these people. I would think things like, "what are the chances of meeting this person and having them actually take an interest in me?"  Of course I was charming, funny, and had a quick silver tongue, attractive, and had a openness of my personality that seemed to make people want to be around me. I felt like God himself had put me in the path of 'this person' to show me that my dreams of being successful and famous as an actor were not in vain.  Yes, I'm telling you that most struggling artists find situations like this miraculous.  After all, I was 'just' Melodee Lenz from Texas who could barely read until 4th grade, was a fat kid most of her life, and bullied beyond belief. How did the lowly Melodee Lenz garner the attention of 'said' person?  It must be divine intervention, right? 

Maybe some of it was, but only in the sense of lesson learning. 

It's no divine secret or hidden mystery how I managed to find these successful and powerful people who wanted to "help me grow" as an artist.  How does a lion find the lamb? How does the fox charm the rabbit? How does the cobra hypnotize the mouse?  The predator knows your weaknesses, knows how you will react, and has been watching you for the "long game" kill shot.

A true psychopath is so intelligent that they know more about you than you know about you. They can spot someone with a pin sized hole of doubt and they can rip that hole open with their talons faster than you could realize you had a hole to begin with!

Were they always psychopaths? Some were. Some weren't. They are easy to spot once you've been taken by them. Just like every predatory person, they don't show you their teeth right away. That's too easy and they wouldn't be where they are if they did that. Remember, the rodent has a much higher intelligence than the snake. If the rodent knew the snake was watching them for a day and a half, they wouldn't come back to the same area to find food. The snake calmly sits there and seems uninterested for a long, long, long time. Then it allows the mouse to climb on it, grab the food that is sticking up out of it's cold coiled body, and eat a full dinner... then it strikes.

The mouse isn't stupid. The mouse was an optimist and felt like the world was finally making it easy for him. Maybe he now has a big powerful friend (the snake) who can guard against the Hawks or Owls or traps set by lesser predators in the woods. The mouse thinks he's really scored a perfect situation. He's seen his mouse friends get scooped up by birds, or get smashed in traps set by humans... but he's never seen any evidence of a snake killing off his friends.... so screw it, new snake friend!   The mouse doesn't realize that the snake leaves no evidence of his kills. He won't need to feed for several days after he eats a plump and satisfied/well fed mouse. He can retreat back into the shadows again. He has time to wait it out.

If you think that is an elaborate way of talking about powerful elite predators, it's not. It is a perfect description. Once you understand this fatal flaw in the 'prey' then you can see how easy it is to be gobbled up by such an obvious predator.

Power is worth more than money and is sought after more than financial gain. Sure, they go hand in hand, but when someone seeks power first, that is someone who is willing to do almost anything to keep their ego fed. A lot of us want money. Sure we do. We want money so that we can have what? Freedom. We just don't want to have to work so hard forever. We'd like to enjoy this place called Earth, see the sights, eat the food, enjoy the time we have with friends and those we love and hold dear. 

We live in a financial and economic system that is exactly patterned after the Babylonian Money Magik system. It kept a select few at the top, and everyone else it kept in a slave system only they thought they were free and taken care of. They were property of Babylon and never knew it. The harder they worked and put back into the economy, the more powerful the ones at the tippy top became. Gradually the people began connecting more, communication grew within Babylon, and the people had a universal language. When communication begins to extend past the tribe, then you have the birth of ideas, inspiration, and knowledge integration from cultures other than your own.

Perhaps the "tower of Babel" was nothing more than the destruction of this communication and the "god" that did it wasn't God, but instead was the elite who thought they were gods. The people were "scattered far and wide, and were not able to speak to each other."  The Babylonian corruption may have bought some time with that little "scattering" but eventually those same people became powerful and came back to sack the city. That's what happens. Once the truth has been shared among the people, the snake pit gets nervous every time they see a fire.

Pretty soon, everyone will have a torch and there will be nowhere to hide for these venomous snakes that have done unthinkable things in the name of power.

Among the torch bearers who are calling out the corruption, you will also have the 'assets' in place that will be MeToo'ing it up in the same public way. The asset will be found out because their information will go after someone and eventually will be debunked as false. So what do we do? We let all of this play out. Use discernment. And realize that anytime something seemingly comes out of nowhere, gets the attention of the mainstream media, and you start seeing laws being changed or activist groups in academia moving mountains to facilitate the new movement.... you have an agenda at play. 

What is the agenda? That is the rabbit hole of questioning you can have fun with. What is gained? Who loses? What sort of distraction does it cause? What age group is it targeting? How are they reacting? What is this distracting from? What legitimately beneficial movement was completely overridden by the upstart of this seemingly progressive movement? Who is standing behind it? What do they gain from it? Who profits financially? Who are they connected with? What are they trying to prevent the masses from knowing about?

These are the types of questions to ask if you want to wake up and take some ownership in your beliefs, your country, and be a responsible intelligent contributor to human life.

As far as the Hollywood corruption goes... It's not shocking. It's shocking that it has taken this long for people to realize that the game being played at the top of all huge companies, politics, and media has been preying on the innocent for eons. How does a mouse fight a dragon? A mouse doesn't. But MICE do. There are more of us then there are of them. Remember that. 

#MeToo #TheRevolutionWillBeTelevised #RedPill #Woke #SexualScandal #Pedogate #Epstein #Vault7 #WikiVault7 #OperationMockingbird #QAnon #Cabal #DarkSide

http://www.theblackvault.com/documentarchive/operation-mockingbird/
For PDF download of FOA declassified docs on Operation Mockingbird



Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Dumbest Things I've Seen or Heard, LIST ONE

In my life, which has been far from average or predictable, I've managed to collect a few moments that break the brain's logic center.

I've always rationalized that these moments exist so that we can remember that things are not normal on this planet. In other words, it's the Creator's way of keeping us on our toes- so to speak.

I'll begin with a classic. 

1. 
I worked for many years at a very successful children's theatre that specialized in classic fairy tales told through the art of European style puppetry. It was a pinky's up type place set in the lavish hall of capitalism, North Park Center in Dallas, Texas.  At least once a month, if not more, there would be some aristocratic patron with her tribe of pasty white Polo shirt wearing kids that would storm the gates of the theatre first thing on a Saturday morning asking the following question:

"What time does the 10:30 show start?" 
To which, we would respond, "10:30."  (this happened all the time) 

As the years went by, the sarcasm increased and we would respond without giving these people any sort of benefit of the doubt.  At one point, when I was the owner (briefly) of this theatre, I responded to this question of "what time does the 10:30 show start" with, "clearly you know the answer to that already."  This was toward the end of my joy for this place...

Next up on the list of stupid stuff I've heard or seen involves the same place as the above example.


2.
During the holiday season in the cathedral of Capitalism (North Park Center), we (the theatre) would always put on a production of a holiday favorite. The last year I worked at this place/co-owned it, I had employed my brother to help with set building and running the retail area/crunching numbers, etc.. 
The holiday season at North Park Center in Dallas, Texas, is the worst of humanity all crammed into a marble floored palace of overpriced bullsh** and horrible Modern Art from the Nasher Collection. (Modern art sucks. I don't care what you think, it sucks)

Anyway... just paintin' a picture of the horrible types of people that frequent that place as though it's an extension of their kid's pre-school.  Spoiled is an understatement.   Everyone at Northpark reminds me of the people in Kubrick's, "Eyes Wide Shut." Totally Bohemian Grove secret society types... miserable wives who compete with other miserable wives for the attention of their uninterested evil rich a-hole husbands who are slipping ME their phone number at their 3 year old's birthday party. Ewwww. NO THANKS.

We were putting on the production of "The Little Drummer Boy," when a woman who was covered in diamonds and holding the ears of her 6 year old male child came in and very quietly whispered with her eye brows suspiciously arched in  inquiry....

"Excuse me. Ma'am, yes, Excuse ME! Assistance please!... I have a question before I buy tickets for this. We are waiting in line for Santa and have a couple of hours to kill so this would be great but I'm concerned and I want an honest answer from you or your staff..." 

Me: Okay. Shoot. 

"Is the (reading the Marquee as though she's never read anything in her life) Little Druh-m Drummer Boy, yes, is that scary?" 

Me: Huh? Are you serious?

"Don't get smart with me blondy. (a classic insult I used to get by these types) I asked you a simple question and I expect a simple answer. Is it scary?" 

My Brother: that depends on whether you think the birth of Christ is a terrifying moment in history... your call ma'am.

"okay fine. 2 tickets please. If this scares my son, I will be talking to your manager!"  

End of that story? They saw the show. They walked out as though that whole conversation above never happened. These kinds of things kept me up at night. I would just imagine these people driving on a major highway and I started sweating.

3.
Working at the Miami Dade County Fair at a Virtual Reality theater alongside a team of the most smartass people on the planet (including my brother), we had 5 weeks of the worst possible conditions. Tropical storm during the set up of the outdoor theatre, a rented apartment that was in Ft. Lauderdale (google map that... we drove that daily)...and of course, the idiot New Jersey-shore types that infiltrated Miami during the summer months. THE WORST. I have to say this off the record... The Jersey-shore-ish type youth are the dumbest people on the planet AND they are aggressive (usually a stupid person trait)... they react like a bunch of feral cats when you challenge their brains with 'new information.'  Hissing, swiping their long fingernails at you, fur standing up...oh I mean... hair... Anyway... you get the point.

Week 4 of the WORST GIG EVER...  
It was my brother, myself, and this dude from Philly named Jeremy. Jeremy was one of those young guys that had been in trouble for spray painting "Anarchist" type stuff on federal buildings. (he was hilarious) He looked like a member of the Beastie Boys....

Well.. We had "about had it" with Miami.  The virtual reality theater set up was an outdoor stage that looked like a bunch of leather arm chairs bolted to some graduated steps. You put on a headset and watched basically a cartoon and used your body to "score points" by "beating up the bad guy." (remember that this was Pre-Wii... so it was cool-ish back then)

So (this is relevant)... it's a bunch of chairs bolted down onto bleacher seating. It goes nowhere. It does nothing. From the audience perspective, all one would see is a group of people yelling, while seated, and shooting at stuff and saying things like "bang bang. Hello Shifty! Go!" (then screaming and stomping their feet to "score points") 
 So.... again.... imagine sitting on your couch wearing heavy goggles and just acting crazy and hoping you win a prize.
Got it? I can't stress that enough and you'll know why in a minute.

A group of wild terrible New Jersey vacationers with their stupid haircuts and gold chains came schlepping up to the booth like they were extras in Good Fellas... "Yo. Say Yo... 'ey... (whistle)... Yo so whaddit do?"  My brother explains it, thoroughly. (if you know my brother, you know what I mean by THOROUGHLY)  These stupid Jersey guys just stare at him. I step in and say, "Look, it's a game. Like a virtual reality game. You go on a quest and the more you move, the more points you score. It's 5 bucks, it lasts 10 minutes. That's the deal." 

The oldest one of the group who was probably about 25 years old, was just staring at the theatre watching people play the game. So... I walked off. That's when they got Philly Anarchy guy, Jeremy. Jeremy walks up to them, "Yo are yous guys gonna sign up or wat!? Come on man you holdin' up the line man, sign up or step off bro." 

That's when the whole crew of these idiots walked back up to pay their money to play the game/see the show... But they had ONE question before they gave us their money. And remember folks... they have stood there for over 3 cycles of people playing the game. They know what it "looks like" and what it "doesn't do." 

This is the question that we all heard, but was asked to Philly Jeremy...

"Say... so um like is it a roller coaster?" 

**even though we were in the middle of a fair ground full of loud AF Jersey vacationers, time seemed to stop and go in slow motion.... the stupidest thing ever had been said and it stopped time itself.***

Jeremy couldn't respond because the time space continuum had been altered by the stupidest thing ever so.... he just rocked back and forth and made a gurgling sound with his mouth and rolled his eyes back in his head until the Jersey guy was so weirded out that he walked off quietly.... 

My brother and I still laugh about that. It was the most epic response without being epic or really a response of any sort... which made it epic.


4. 

Next on the list of "classics" would have to be the story of the worst time of my life... 
It was after I came home injured from my tour with the circus. (true story for those of you who don't know... yes, I joined the circus at 33 years old)... I came back to ruin. No money. No nothing. I had been screwed over by everyone I knew and the karmic wheel of my past ran over me about 47 times upon arrival home. 

Several months after coming home to "hell on earth 2011," my boyfriend and I had to figure out how to make some money. He too had been run over by the wheel of fate and I couldn't help but think some of my karmic wheels had gone rogue into his world too.  I had an idea that just might work. We could sell puppets at various festivals and weekender type markets. I had made a killing back in the day selling these marionettes that looked like birds at fairs, etc...

So why not?! I spent my last dime ordering these birds in bulk. Most of the strings were broken, and I still figured it would be easier to sit up all night repairing them then it would be to send them back. So....my brother, Logan and myself all stayed up repairing these P.O.S. bird puppets in hopes of selling them over the weekend at a craft market festival thing in east Texas.  If we sold even half of them, we could all make 500 bucks a piece. Not bad.

That didn't happen.

We set up shop. Had our tent set, display was great... had cash to give change... impressive display for the poorest and most broken down people in DFW at the time.  Across from our set up was a truck full of WOLF PUPPIES. WOLF. ACTUAL WOLF PUPS. Is that not the most white trash shit you've ever heard in your life?  Granted... I wanted one.

During this uninteresting white trash showcase of 2011, there was some snaggle toothed thin methy looking dude that was 'breaking bad' on his old school BMX bicycle. He was totally scoring or selling meth to various vendors. For sure. Actually... maybe that's me giving him too much credit. I think he might have been just a meth addict burning off the tweeks on that bike. 

With every passing minute of selling nothing and watching people irresponsibly purchase wolf puppies, we broke down our invisible light barrier... Our "bubble of invisible protection" against the dredges of society was ripping open slowly like a tear in the crack of your favorite pants.

METHod  Man- Alternative Universe Slim Shady kept rolling by and it all clicked with us that he had been yelling at us since 7:00am the previous day. We had just not "tuned into his frequency" so to speak, and didn't HEAR him.  Finally we did...

"Say... Hay... HAY... why don' yall jus' put a stick on it?" 

Me: What? 
Logan: What are you talkin' about dude? 
My brother: (just sighed and slightly growled) 

"Jus' go'on and put a stick on 'em. Like 'at right ch'er... ah STICK. Puuuut a STICK on 'em." (then he would maniacally laugh as though it was the most clever thing he'd ever thought of) 

He rolled around us for 2 full days saying those lines...
We packed up our things. We left. We cried. We were wolf-less, penniless, and had cerebral damage.

***Side note: How do you know if you are in a full blown white trash world.... Wolf Pups for sale out of the back of a truck.  Also... pale freckled Scandinavian looking people selling "authentic Native American wares." Never forget that. ***

5. 
My tattoo.
I have ONE tattoo and it's on my forearm. It is the most recognizable state in the U.S.A. Yes, I have a tattoo of the state of Texas on my forearm. It's solid black, clean lines, and fairly large.

About 2 years ago, at a professional establishment, with college educated professionals hovering with cocktails all around me, I had to engage in small talk with a group of people about my "exciting life," and blah blah blah...  This woman, around 28 years old (I looked her up after this incident of stupidity royale) said the following sentence, and may the good Lord strike me down if I'm lying...

(sigh... okay here it goes)

"Yeah so I am so sorry for asking this but like I have to ask... Did you know that your birthmark looks like exactly like the State of Texas? That is amazing! I mean what are the chances, right?" 

Listen to me people... I have a great tattoo. It is clearly a tattoo. It is clearly NOT a birthmark of amazing coincidence.  So if you are wondering how I responded to that, I can tell you very quickly... I didn't.

6. 
I worked at a newspaper in Downtown Dallas. Horrible job. Horrible. I shared an office with the County Clerk within the RECORDS BUILDING. It looked like the 4th floor in the show "Parks and Rec" where they all dreaded going. Ironically enough, I too worked on the 4th floor.

 Anyway. I met some great people that worked there for eons but there was one lady that worked there that was certifiably insane. Well... there were a few, but this one lady took the Blue Ribbon. Her name was Martha. She was from some part of South America or somewhere that speaks Spanish but with a lisssssp. I know they do that in Barthhhhelona, Spain, but she wasn't from Spain.

She wouldn't wash her hands after the restroom, she would use "cream" and just simply moisturize them. This was the first red flag I waived, though meekly, but I still WAVED it. 

Back in those days, I was very broke, very miserable, but I was trying to be healthy and keep the dream alive in any way I could. I had a very strict diet at one point. I was trying the Raw Foodist thing. This was WAY before it was "cool"... Anyway, that's relevant. I always took my lunch with me to work. It usually included several bananas (it's hard to get full on a Raw food vegan diet)...

Martha always watched me eat and made me nervous. One time when I ate garlic on some pasta, she started crying. I'm not lying. She cried and ran to the County Clerk and "told on me" for eating garlic. I mean, sure that's stinky and maybe not the best idea in the workplace, but we were in a busted ass building with rats in the stairwells... so who really cares? The whole place kind of smells like urine anyway. Garlic only helped it... and hey, it keeps vampires away... which also worked there.

ANYWAY... I digress. 

I was eating bananas one day for lunch. Martha was watching me, as usual, and she said the following with her lispy spanish accent whilst putting "dee creams on her hand for cleanings"...

"Ju' knowthhh, Bananas are berry fathenings." 
Me: Huh? No. I mean, sure they could be but it's literally all I'm eating for lunch.

"Ju' gets fat eating banana. Dey are berry berry fatthenings." 
Me: Okay Martha. I got it. I'm going to get fat. I don't care. I'm hungry.

"No no no ju' think about dis things. Ju' alway es'thrying to looooose weight, no? Banana is berry fatthening. Berry. "  "Banana having lots of fatthening tings in dems. Wheats, de rice, fats, es'corns..." 

Me: (I stop eating) Wait... what? Did you just say that bananas have wheat, rice, fats and corn in them? Like, INSIDE the bananas?  Is that what you are saying to me?

"J'yess... corns, es'fats, wheat, rice, all those tings. Berry fatthening, banana.... berry." 

**My friend and I would only bring bananas to work after that. And my friend one time said, "Oh Mel, look, my banana has a hot pocket in it?"  Then I said, "No shit?! Oh my GOD, mine is really fattening today... a whole pepperoni pizza" Then we build the joke from there..... Martha quit. *


...To be continued....