Sunday, May 21, 2017
I'm not sure what is happening in the mainstream news media but I'm treating it like the mentally ill psychotic neighbor that people avoid making eye contact with when they check the mailbox. Oh, you don't have one of those? Yeah you do. Everyone does. That's the scary part.
Do you ever catch yourself doing that thing where you disassociate from your surroundings and just kind of look at everything and think, "I gotta get out of here." If you are reading MY blog, this has happened to you. If you are reading a blog about the going's on of "The Bachelor," you have no idea what I'm talking about.
This feeling has happened to me countless times. I'd wager at least 100,000 times I've thought, "oh my GAWD this is real. I gotta find a way out of this place."
Quick/not quick story...
Do you remember your first memory? I do. I remember looking down at myself before I could talk and thinking, "Are you kidding me? I'm a human? A girl too? No! Why can't I fly?!! I take it back, I take it back. I don't want to do this mission. You guys were right, this isn't going to be easy at all."
The other memory I have was standing at the top of the stairs and seeing my Grandmother's sister down below. She had come to visit us from San Fran. I remember my Grandma saying, "Melodee Lei, you better be careful. Wait there. I'm going to come up and bring you down." I looked at her and thought, "Um... I'm pretty sure I can fly." Nope. Crash. Boom. Bang. Next thing I know, my Grandmother had convinced my Mom that we needed to move out of that house before I, "kill myself on those stairs."
I remember watching television shows like "Sesame Street," and thinking, "okay, I need to learn how to do things in this body." The episode was the famous one where the little African American girl is in Brooklyn or wherever, and she had a grocery list that her mother gave her to fetch certain items from the store down the block. (side note: this was perfectly normal in the 1970's and 80's)
The little girl made a rhythmic kind of mantra as she walked to the store, "A loaf of bread, eggs, and a jug of milk." (repeat with some drums in the back)
The kid gets to the crosswalk and looks both ways and then crosses the street... Resumes her chant of the grocery list and arrives at the store to purchase the items on the list.
In retrospect, I'm wondering why she spoke the list if she had it in her hand the whole time? I don't know. These are questions for scholars, not me.
There was a corner store close to my Grandma's house which was kind of the Barrio area of Dallas County. The store was next to the laundry mat where my Grandmother washed clothes. I loved that place for some reason. Weird. I digress...
One day my Grandmother went to pick up one of her many grandkids from school or to take my cousin to work which was just about a mile away. I was about 4 years oldish. I was VERY small for my age. I looked like a 2 year old when I was 4.
I watched the episode of Sesame Street I mentioned above. I consciously thought, "okay, let's try this out. Can't be hard. I have some money in my bag, I'll go to the store and buy those things." (I had a fist full of pennies in my Snoopy coin purse)
I walked outside and headed to 5th Street. (a major thoroughfare) Looked both ways. Clear. Proceed.
Repeating the mantra, "Eggs, bread, a jug of milk," I can remember being very impressed with myself. Cars were passing me and looking concerned. I made it all the way to the store. NOT the store by the house, but a store that was at least 3 streets over. I crossed A LOT of streets. I remember looking up and seeing my cousin's boyfriend on his motorcycle. He stopped and said, "Melodee? What are you doing? Your Grandmother is going to have a heart attack! I'm taking you home."
I was like, "I'm getting a jug of milk, eggs, and a loaf of bread." He completely ignored me and just frantically put me on his MOTORCYCLE and took me home. My entire family was out on the lawn FREAKING OUT. Luckily my Dad wasn't there because I wouldn't be alive to tell the tale.
My Grandmother never hit anyone, but that day... I was smacked pretty hard. I had no idea what I had done wrong. I remember thinking, "if they let kids watch something that demonstrates going to the store alone, then there's a bigger problem with the society I'm living in."
I really thought that. I couldn't say that in English but I thought that in my mind and couldn't effectively communicate it. All I could say really was, "Sesame Street did it," and "I helping with milk, bread and egg store."
This was HIGHLY upsetting to everyone.
It was the first feeling of failure I had in my life. Little did I know that similar thoughts would happen for the next 34 years.
So... the point of this blog, if there is one, which there rarely is...
This human thing is not for the weak. I think the term, "I'm only human," might be the most honest statement ever made in history. We all had clarity when we were kids. All of us.
Even the person who is watching, "The Bachelor," and is deeply concerned with the outcome... that person was once a super tuned-in soul.
So where did we go wrong?
I believe we came into this world very clear and then the water became muddied and murky and slightly stinky. It's mixed messages, don't do this, do that, be this way, think like I think, that's not real, that's real... that's silly, that's acceptable. It's no wonder kids hate school. It is completely counter to the natural learning process.
At the age of 5, ( or sometimes younger if you are one of those over achiever kids that was pushed academically by your lunatic parents) you are told to forgo anything you think you know, and accept what "WE" know.
This is why everyone is so bat shit crazy deep down. I can only imagine if other civilizations in outer space are observing this tiny blue planet, how they must scratch their heads in total amazement. I've often thought of these magnificent people that have come into our civilization out of seemingly nowhere, (ex. Christ, Nikola Tesla, Einstein, Buddha, Mohammed, Mother Theresa, Elijah, Moses, MLKjr., Gandhi) were sent because it was just flat out impossible for the Creator Realm and other Solar system civilizations to know how to help?
Imagine an infinitely huge network of extremely loving and high intelligence cultures in the universe calling one another on their space phones and saying,
"So... the Earth thing... crazy huh? I'm not sure why God is so stuck on that place? I mean, we did alright? What's their flippin' problem? No, it kind of pisses me off too. I mean, God is all obsessed over helping them, but what did we get? I know, I know Steven, I'm being really negative, I know... it's these Earth stories... I'm reading the reports and it's just unbelievable. I'm not sure I want to do that mission anymore. What if I get stuck there? I mean, Steven.. can you imagine being stuck there?
Oh my God. I know...horrible. Well, I've got a bunch of really great stuff I'm bringing down there but the Big Guy is telling me that I have to forget what I know and truly embrace being a human.... I'm like, God, "what is all the training for if I just have to forget it and learn how to poop or whatever... it sounds kind of sketchy to me...
well, if the Big Guy ordered it, I guess He knows what's up.... I don't know Steven. Pray for me. M'kay... bye. Oh, and make sure to feed my Guinea pig while I'm gone. Do they have Guinea pigs there? Oh no way... Who left one there? Never mind... I don't want to know. Okay I'll see you on the other side."
And then your born and you scream, crap all over the place, and realize you are STARVING.
And so it begins.
When it's over, and you've mashed enough transient crap into your mind, you return for debriefing.
And that might go something like this....
"Welcome back! So, let's hear all about it. What did you find out?"
And your like vomiting and crying... barely able to speak...
"Oh God. No, really God... I need to speak to God. Steven, piss off dude, I have to talk to the Big Guy. Seriously. You. Have. No. Idea!"
"I don't know what I learned because it was just so confusing the whole time. They have things called Allergies. Their biological organic beings attack their breathing apparatus... They have this green paper stuff that you get things with- instead of just getting what you need- which is what Everyone needs... but you have to do something you really hate doing for like... oh my God... for like- Years!
And and and... then you finally get a few things that you thought you needed, only to find out that you didn't need them at all...They lie all the time.
They lie about what they like, what they don't like, and even who they are? But you can't really remember what you are, it's freakin weird man... Anyway... then you love other people and their contract ends super fast and you cry and feel like your heart organ is going to explode with grief... Then for some stupid reason you wake up and continue living?
Animals that are your friends are contracted for like hardly any time at all... they leave... and then you cry more and then you want to end your contract but you go back to sleep, wake up and continue living again? It's so bizarre. It's like running into a fire over and over again because you need warmth but you know it will kill you, but you REALLY hate to be cold.
It's so hard. Listen to me.... listen.... they need help.
They are starting to figure out that it shouldn't be the way it is there, and some of them are really trying to make a difference but there are these horrible evil people that wear suits or carry weapons n' stuff, and those people are holding everyone hostage because they are contracted by the Big Guy's super shitty ex-best friend.
These humans are totally caught in the middle of that whole thing! They do have really great books there, beautiful art and this thing called Jazz... it would blow your mind. Did you know you can't fly? No. You can't. I mean, you can, but it's like in this weird metallic clunky thing that is super slow, horrible design, just stupid frankly. Look, we gotta help them.
Here's what Steven, I saw some of OUR craft in the sky and you know what the suits do? You won't believe it. They tell the humans that they are crazy if they talk about what they actually saw! I know. I know. But here's the thing Steven, the humans actually do what they are told? They are totally ready to break out of there but there are like a handful of these evil assholes that are tricking them all into thinking there's nothing else out there. I know it's ridiculous but I'm just telling you what I know...
What do you mean do I want to go back for another mission? Are you crazy? Look, I don't know... I'll think about it. Okay fine. Okay, okay, okay... yeah, I guess I will. But this time, I'm going to make sure I remember some things so that I don't completely lose my mind. Hey... will you guys check in with me once in a while through the Dream Machine? Cool. Hey... pull me out if it looks like I might get stuck there."
....then you watch Sesame Street and go to the store to buy a loaf of bread, some eggs and a jug of milk.